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Our fingers touched and I paused, it felt like something else was trapped in my chest other than my voice, then it feels like I have a few extra heartbeats, like its erupting just from us touching. My finger recoils from his as I enjoy the taste of the juicy watermelon in my mouth.

“Era, you really beautiful as hell, I can’t stop staring at you man.” He rubs his left hand down his waves and maintains his eye contact with me.

“I don’t want you thinking that sex is all I want from you. I really want to get to know you thoroughly. So don’t make it hard on a nigga, moaning while you eat then coming around me looking like a fuckin meal.” My stomach fluttered and I blushed hard.

“I feel the same way, your really handsome and you smell so good, Soul. I texted you what I texted you earlier because when I’m around you, I get all shy and shit and don’t know what to really say. I don’t want to appear like some thirsty ass hoe either. I just can’t help that when I’m near you, I just want to kind of be close and next to you. Like feeling you and touching all over you.” I stopped myself from saying anything else.

“You ain’t gotta stop shit, we taking it slow. That don’t mean we can’t touch, rub and feel on each other. If it gets to feel like it's too much just remember, I will respect that and you always. Communication is what I rock with Era. I will always keep shit as real as my baby inside of your stomach.” I smiled at that feeling more comfortable as I moved closer to him and took another watermelon off of his plate.

“My mom and uncles want to meet you for Sunday dinner.” I blurted that out, ready to get that out the way already. He takes a sip from his cup for a while and the eye contact stops. I start to panic a little wondering what he is thinking. I hope he didn’t think I was trying to force a title on us.

“That’s cool.” He looks back at me then places his free hand on my thigh. I release the breath I was holding and just stare at him.

“I think that’s solid; it makes sense too. It's good that your family wants to get to know me and I want to know them since we eventually will have a family together. Have you set a doctor’s appointment yet?” I was really digging the hell out of Soulful. Everything about him screamed grown-ass man and I was loving it.

“My-“ He cut me off holding his hand up.

“Our.” He corrected.

“Our appointment is Friday, when we go, the nurse said we will hear the baby heartbeat and then they will give us a list of appointments. Which is good so we can work our schedule out together.” I smiled the whole time I talked. I was super excited and the look on Soulful face had me pumped up even more.

“I can’t wait, I always wanted a baby.”

“Why didn’t you have one with your wife?” His face went through a lot of different emotions before he answered.

“I don’t know. She always said she wasn’t ready. I start speculating on that shit and thought it was because of my busy schedule but she know I always dropped shit to make time. Besides training and game days I was at home. She was the one never really at home. I guess she ain’t really want to be stuck at home or maybe she didn’t like how I care for my sisters but then again I never made her do a thing when it came to Luv and Passion.” He looked like he was really trying to figure it out and I felt for him.

“Maybe she just didn’t want a baby by me, she easily got pregnant by another nigga and got mad when-“ he cut himself short and just stared off for a minute.

“I think you made a couple of mistakes. You mention how you never made her do a thing when it came to your sisters. They are apart of you like a packaged deal. You made her your wife while you had custody meaning your siblings were your responsibility. You were their guardian, so she should have stepped up and played a major role. If she wasn’t ready for that and you noticed it, then… you shouldn’t have married her, and she shouldn’t have married you.” He nodded in agreement; I was glad he got what I was trying to say to him.

No way in hell would I get with a man who wouldn’t accept what came with me.

“You right, I’m really starting to see that shit clear. I just wanted to make shit easy for her. I never wanted to push what was my responsibility on to my wife. I should’ve looked at all the signs though. I never really mourned my mom properly or did anything with Jocelyn, especially since she lost her brother around the same time that I lost my mother. I put her needs before mine because I’m a grown ass man, and a man is supposed to carry the load and heavy burden. I just wanted to make sure that she was straight.” His eyes, those big puppy dog eyes did something to me. It’s like you could stare right into his soul.

“That’s not fair, Soulful. You can’t pour everything inside of you into someone else cup. If you do pour into someone, they need to be pouring right back into you. It creates a healthy balance, you know? I’m preaching it to you and myself. That’s the mistake I made with Devin. Always trying to please him, when he wasn’t even pleasing me. Just because you are a man doesn’t mean that you don’t have the right to address your problems and mourn someone. That was your mom, you guys could’ve helped each other get through the major losses you had.” We remained silent for a while, probably both thinking deep about what I just said.

“Let’s pour into each other slowly and keep a healthy balance so when our baby comes, we can pour into her.” He stated lowly and my heart swelled fast.

“I don’t want to do it too fast.” I didn’t know what else to say.

“That mean you really wasn’t listening to me, because I said slowly baby.” He scooted closer and gently grabbed under my chin, bringing my face close to his. Running his fingers down my cheekbone, and then his fingertips across my lips. His stare is so penetrating that my kitty is starting to throb with pleasure. Fuck! It’s turning sexual.

“I don’t want to say that I’m falling for you because people always fall into things you know. They fall down and die, fall out with mutha fucka’s, fall down to the ground when they trip off something. You get my point Era? I want to get into you and stay with you cause I feel this strong ass connection with you. I don’t give a fuck about all the hurt that I have endured when I’m with you. I don’t think about who I was with and the void that I felt for years from the lack of love from my mom. Your name and everything else attached to you keeps pulling me towards you baby. I just hope I’m not scaring you are saying too much. It’s going to be a new era with you baby. I just know it. Your mom did well with the name she picked out for you. We are beginning a new era with us, so let that shit flow. No pressure, no rush.”

He leaned in close and took my breath away. We didn’t say much after that, he held me on the couch, and we watched the entire movie. I paused the movie, Soulful helped me clean the mess we made in my living room. When we were done doing that, we retreated to my bedroom and started the next Godfather movie. I remember waking up to go pee and had to pause and just stare at Soulful. He lived up to his name as well.

He gave me a presence that was timeless and powerful. Soulful was reliably calm and he seemed well grounded and in control of his feelings. I loved how he had no problem calmly expressing himself. When he talked he looked me deeply in my eyes to give me all the reassurance that I could feel through my soul. A person like him deserved happiness. I hoped that we could give that to each other since this was a new era between him and I.

I went to use the bathroom, then got right back under my big and tall teddy bear and fell right back to sleep effortlessly.

Chapter Thirty-Two

PRAYLAH

I had a fast-beating heart with a rapid pulse. It’s been too many days of being held against my will. Too many days of fighting back and saying what was on my mind.

It felt good to be strong and I embraced it. It was me becoming what I finally had to become without any help. But… I wanted help. I wanted Matthew to come save me one last time. Save me and Heaven from this selfish and manipulative man that I messed up and gave several chances to.