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My stomach turns over on itself, the vomit creeping up the back of my throat.
“Fuck you!” I scream, turning away from him. Staring at the wall, I will myself to that safe place. On the sea. The placid sea with Titus rowing us away.
Remus says something else. Words that grow distant, as I drift into the dark, parallel world.
“Jack promised you to me. Did you know that? After we killed your father. He agreed to hand you over to me. In exchange for my loyalty.”
Jack.
“You were always fated to be mine, Thalia.” Taking hold of my arms, he presses down on me.
I kick and scream. “No! Get off of me! Get off of me!”
“Thalia!”
When I open my eyes, Titus is standing over me, holding my arms against the bed.
“Let me go! Let me go!”
He releases me, holding up his hands. “I’m not here to hurt you. You were pounding at the wall. I just didn’t want you to hurt yourself.”
“I can’t stop seeing him. He’s everywhere. When I’m awake. When I sleep! He won’t leave me alone!”
“He can’t hurt you, Thalia, I promise. They’re just visions.”
“They’re real!” A sob finally breaks through, and I clamp my hands over my ears, as the echo of Remus’s whispers reverberate inside my head. “He won’t shut up! I just want to … to shut him up! If I could just shut him up!”
“Shut him up. Make him go away.”
“I can’t.”
“You can. Pretend I’m Remus. I’m the one who hurt you. I’m the one who makes you suffer every night.”
Squeezing my eyes closed, I shake my head. “No. No you’re not.”
Rough hands shake my body, the clawed fingers on my skin startling me out of my escape. I’m no longer in my bedroom back at the cabin, but on Remus’s bed. I look around the room and find Agatha sitting on the chair, as usual, with her drink in hand. Her lips kick up into a smile.
My necklace is draped over her collarbone.
The cabin with Titus was just a dream, then?
Beneath me, Remus lies arched, his head tipped back, eyes closed. “Look at her, Agatha. She loves it.”
I stare down at myself, uncuffed, rolling my hips against his, as if … as if enjoying sex with him.
“I told you. You wanted this, Thalia. You wanted me. You’re moaning.”
The anger explodes inside of me, and I rail my fist into his face. “Shut up!”
“Listen to you asking for more. Begging me. Titus would be so disappointed. If he were alive.”
“Fuck you!” I slam another punch to his face, and another. Any moment, his guards will pry me off and punish me for this, but I keep going, because the hate feels good. “I hate you! I fucking hate you! You rotten piece of shit! Go to hell!”
He tightens his grip, and something inside of me snaps. The blackness explodes to a haze of red, and I hit him, over and over, until blood coats my knuckles, splashing up into my eyes. I hit him until my hands are bruised and sore. Until he silences.
I collapse against him, my whole body trembling with a rush of adrenaline.
“You moaned,” Remus whispers, and my thoughts take me back to the one night, when I was swept up in my fantasy with Titus, rowing along in our paper boat. He leaned in to kiss me. I kissed him back, and when I opened my eyes, it was Remus’s mouth pressed against mine.
