Page 51 of Requiem & Reverie

Her head snaps back to me, and she wrenches her hand free of my grasp. “What if it was you? What if I stole that from you?”

“The closer you are to him, the better his chances of winning,” I say, as the elevator dings, and I nab her wrist again, tugging her to follow.

“How?” She wriggles her arm to get loose, but I don’t allow it, not until we’re standing at the door and I’ve swiped my keycard to enter.

Ignoring her, I enter the room first, performing a quick sweep, as usual.

“How does my presence increase his chances of winning, Voss?”

“Just does.”

“Just does.” She mocks me and crosses her arms. “I don’t give a shit who you are, or what power you think you wield over me. I’m going to be there. I’m going to be the first face my son sees. And you’re not going to stop me.”

“The hell I’m not. What the fuck do you think you’re dealing with, Nola? Some asshole with a machete that you can spot in a crowd? Some monstrous bastard with a disfigured face that’ll warn you to stay away?” I stride over to the window and point down at the city below. “Imagine someone just as fucked up and evil as a monster, with the face of a goddamn angel. He’s a manipulator. A psychopath. He will crawl beneath your skin and make you question yourself, because that’s what he’s good at. You won’t even know you’re looking right at the fucking devil until it’s too late.”

“You’re just like Jonah. I thought you, of all people, would understand how important this is to me. But you don’t! You treat me like I’m some goddamn invalid, incapable of taking care of myself! You don’t think I know how cunning he is, Voss? You don’t think I know what he’s capable of?” A flicker of distress dances across her face. “I go to sleep at night with visuals of those women in my head. How terrifying it must’ve been for them, laid out, while some sick and deranged bastard took amusement in torturing them. I think about how helpless they must’ve felt, knowing no one would ever save them. No one would find them.” Jaw tight with her resolve, she shakes her head. “I won’t let that be Oliver.” She crosses her arms, her face holding all the beautiful determination I’ve missed in her.

Unfortunately, it’s not going to get her anywhere with me. “Your brother was right to keep you away from him.”

“Fuck you.” As she spins to leave, I stride quickly after her, catching her arm before she reaches the door. One hard yank, and she crashes into my chest. “Let me go!”

“First opportunity, and you’d hand yourself on a silver platter to this asshole.”

“If it means getting my son, you bet your ass I’ll do whatever I have to.”

“That doesn’t work for me, Nola.”

“Too bad! I’m not here to ask your permission. I’m not here to do what works for you. This is about my son!” She wriggles against me, twisting her arms to break my grasp. “I don’t expect you to understand. You don’t have kids. You don’t have a wife. You’ve never cared about a goddamn thing but yourself!”

“Bullshit.” The sting of her words slaps me in the face, and I set my mouth to her ear, trying to hold back the anger. “I care about you. More than I want to. You make me weak, Nola. Weak!”

She stills against me, her chest rising and falling with the effort of fighting.

“That’s why you can’t be there when this shit goes down. Because if something happens to you, I don’t know what the fuck I’ll do. Probably snap, and I can’t afford to do anything stupid. Not with him.”

I bury my face in the nape of her neck, inwardly cringing at all these confessions pouring out of me. “Please trust me. Trust me to find him.”

“I trusted my brother to do the same. He couldn’t. And I can’t blame him, really, but it’s like you said, Voss. This sick bastard wants me. And he’s not stupid. I’m not letting an opportunity slip through my hands again.”

I don’t blame her. Her son is her entire world. Without him, she essentially has nothing. Nothing to live for. Nothing to fight for. Without him, she’ll be empty, a shell of herself, just like I’ve lived all these years. It’s not happening, and she’s not going to be anywhere near him, but reasoning with her is futile. Nola’s ready to jump off this train at the first opportunity of finding her son—at her own expense.

Which means I need to get to Carl before he gets to her.

“Are you hungry?” I ask, letting her go. “I’ll order up some food.”

“I’m fine. I just … didn’t really want to be alone after seeing the two of them …” Her brows furrow, and she makes her way toward the bed, taking a seat there. “How do you do it, Voss? How do you kill people?”

Stuffing my hands into my slacks, I shrug. “Just got easier over time.”

“With all you’ve … been through. What makes you so different from him?”

I offer a slight smile, my thoughts taking me back to when I was eight years old, on an errand with my mother.

I pack the last of the groceries into the trunk and make my way into the passenger seat of the car.

“You are the sweetest grocery assistant I’ve ever had,” my mom says, planting a kiss to the top of my head. “Thank you for unloading the cart.”

“You’re welcome.”