Page 100 of Brain Damage

I don’t know what to say to that.

“I came to your clinic that day to let you have it,” he recalled. “I was planning to tell you exactly how you wrecked my life. But then when I saw you…” One side of his lips quirks up. “You were so pathetic and plain and… and desperate. I thought to myself, this is the woman who wrecked my marriage? And that’s when I got a better idea.”

Pathetic and plain and desperate? Is that really how I came across to him? “You never loved me…”

“Well, it wasn’t like I was repulsed by you or anything,” Clark continues. He’s still just staring at the wall. “But I definitely had to close my eyes and think of England whenever we had sex. But it was satisfying in its own way. I was broke because of you, and you had money that I could use to jump start my career. I was paranoid you’d find out I’d been married to Regina before and I knew that would ruin everything, so I was careful. I even broke things off with Haley for a little while.”

But I was too disgusting for him to ever actually be attracted to.

“When did you start up again with Haley?” I ask.

Clark is quiet.

I take a breath. “Was it before or after we got married?”

Clark doesn’t answer me for a long time. Finally, he says, “Before.”

That extra week in the Bahamas. I don’t even have to ask him. She must have been with him. I’m such an idiot.

“Who was the person pretending to be Kyle Barry?” I ask.

“He was a former client of the firm where I used to work,” Clark says. “His name is Ernest Gamble—I was sure you’d put it all together when he was arrested, but thankfully, you don’t see the news stories these days. He was up on assault charges, and I pulled some strings to get him represented pro bono at my former firm. In exchange, he said he’d help me out.” He lowers his eyes. “He was just supposed to help me get a date with you, Charlotte. It wasn’t supposed to go this far—not at first, anyway.”

I don’t know if it’s the pain in my head, but I suddenly have the urge to throw up.

“Ernie was the one who convinced me to go through with it,” Clark says in a slightly desperate voice. “I swear. I’m not a murderer, Charlotte.” His eyes have a distant look. “He told me to fabricate those divorce papers you got in the mail, then use it as an excuse to get a gun. And then of course, the gun would be kept unsecured…”

That gun. I knew I should have gotten rid of it…

“I wasn’t going to do it though,” Clark insists. “I swear. I was going to ditch the gun and just… I don’t know. Stick it out with you. But then when you were going to end it…” His voice breaks slightly. “It’s your fault, Charlotte. You were never honest with me. I wouldn’t have had to go after your life insurance if I knew what you had in the bank. I would have agreed to the divorce.”

I don’t get it. I don’t know what great quantity of money he’s talking about. If I had that kind of money, I wouldn’t be worried about a nursing home right now. Is he delusional?

“It was supposed to be done by the time I got home,” Clark says. “Ernie was supposed to make it look like a burglary, and I was going to call the police when I found you. Except… when I got home, you were still alive.”

A tiny thread of hope surges in my chest. He said he was going to wait until I was dead, but he didn’t. He didn’t wait. He called for an ambulance while I was still alive. That’s the only reason I’m still here now. He must have changed his mind about wanting me dead.

“So why did you call?” I ask. “I mean, before… you know…”

“Your cat.”

“My cat?” I have no idea what he’s talking about. “What cat?”

“Christ, you don’t remember your cat?” Clark grunts. “That black stray that strutted around like she owned the place?”

A black cat…

Oh my God, Kitty! How could I have forgotten her?

But why is Clark talking about her in the past tense? How come my mother hasn’t mentioned her or brought her to me in all the time I’ve been here?

Oh Jesus, did he do something to Kitty?

“She slipped out when Ernie left the apartment,” Clark says with a sneer. “Your neighbor came by to return her, and she saw everything. I had to call an ambulance. So that was that.”

My stomach sinks. Clark didn’t have a change of heart, after all. He only called 911 because he was cornered.

“But why didn’t Ernie tell the police you were involved?” I ask. “I mean, after they caught him.”