Page 110 of All the Wandering Light

At that, he laughed. I didn’t risk glancing at River, though I wanted to. I merely waited.

“I like you, Kamzin. Do you know how many people I can say that about?” He paused, and then, as I was about to reply, he said, “Very few. I’ve come to realize—recently, in fact—that trust can be a very dangerous thing.” He regarded me. “But you already know that, don’t you? You trusted River, and look how he betrayed us.”

I felt about as comfortable being referred to as an “us” by the emperor as I did being told that he liked me. Claws pecked against the windowsill, as River scrabbled at the wood in an attempt at raven-like behavior—or, as I suspected was more likely, as he dismissed Lozong’s words with mockery.

“Have you seen him?” The emperor’s tone was mild. His gaze was not. “Lusha told me you had no particular relationship with him. But I wonder. The two of you spent a great deal of time together. And River can be very charming, can’t he? I confess that I too was taken in by his charms.”

I felt my heart speed up. The emperor’s voice held the calm of a loaded spring in the moment before release. I didn’t trust myself to speak.

The emperor smiled, and it was as if the spring had snapped. “You’ll tell me if he does visit you? Or if you ever learn of his whereabouts?”

The words bore only the superficial semblance of a question. “Yes, Your Highness.”

“No, no, no,” he said. “You will call me Elin, if you call me anything—a childhood nickname, and one few have permission to use. You did help preserve my Empire, after all. And I suspect we may be seeing a lot of each other in the future.”

I swallowed. Perhaps because he had unnerved me, or perhaps because I wanted, in some small way, to surprise him, the question just came out. “Are you going to ask Lusha to marry you?”

His smile changed. For a brief moment, I caught a glimpse of genuine warmth in his eyes, a hint of what might have been there when he was actually the age he appeared.

“She is very like Iranna.” His tone was distant.

He blinked, and reached over to squeeze my hand. “Rest now, Kamzin. You’ll have little opportunity for that in the coming months, as I’m sure you’ve guessed.”

I swallowed. Was he offering to make me one of his explorers? I thought so, but he made no move to clarify, merely let his bland words hang in the air, where they assumed an ominous quality. The emperor smiled again, and strode out, his white chuba rippling behind him, painfully bright. He seemed to draw some of the light from the room with him, and as the door closed I fell back in relief, welcoming the return of the shadows.

Thirty-Four

WE TRAVELED THROUGH dense forest for the next two days, keeping mostly to the road. Despite this, it was slow going with such a large group and all the gear that entailed.

“Here.” Lusha settled at my side by the fire, handing me a bowl of something fragrant with spice.

“What is it?” I said.

She gave a small shrug. “Ask Urma.”

I glanced across the fire, where Urma, our personal cook, busied himself with something that might have been dessert, though it was hard to tell with Three Cities food. Everything was laden with sweetness and spice and rare garnishes. It was enough to make me crave even the frequently burned sampa porridge of our old rations.

“Tell me again why you agreed to bring a cook.”

“I didn’t,” Lusha said, her voice curt. Her cheeks flushed. “The emperor determined our escort. I had no say in it.”

“Of course not,” I said, and had the satisfaction of watching Lusha’s blush deepen. Though the soldiers who arrayed themselves around us during the day, their armor clanking, and the assistants who snatched things from my hands as we made camp were annoying, I supposed that I should have counted myself lucky. The emperor had been reluctant to allow us to leave at all, given the danger posed by the witches. He had relented only after Lusha agreed to travel with a full guard.

“Just as you had no say in the emperor’s planned trip to Azmiri next month,” I added.

“That—” Lusha drew in her breath. “That is a ceremonial visit. To honor us—and Azmiri—for protecting the Empire.”

I rolled my eyes. I didn’t know the specifics of what had passed between Lusha and the emperor. But they had spent much of the past week in each other’s company. I would have disliked it more, had I not recognized, on some instinctive level, how closely matched Lusha and Lozong were. It had been evident from the very beginning. Lozong was fearsome and commanding, and I would never cease to be intimidated by him, but many people felt the same way about Lusha. I didn’t notice, because I was used to her.

“What about you?” I asked. “Have the dreams stopped?”

Lusha didn’t answer immediately. She had told me her sleep had been troubled since that night—though, being Lusha, she wouldn’t provide any details. “I’m all right.”

“Are you?” Dark circles framed her eyes, and her normally sharp gaze clouded sometimes, as if she had recalled something that troubled her.

“Yes.” She smiled at me. “Or getting there, anyway. Don’t worry about me, Kamzin.”

A thought occurred to me. “What will Yonden think of all this?” I said quietly.