Page 88 of The Wrong Monster

Her expression changes. The question hangs between us, and now there’s tension in the air. I’m not sure why I asked it, but I want to know the answer. Maybe it’s because I don’t know myself.

“I think everyone deserves to be loved.”

“That’s not what I asked.”

She looks directly at me. “I think some people make themselves impossible to love.”

There it is. Something inside me goes very still.

“And you think I’m one of them?”

“I think you’re dangerous.”

“I know.”

“I think you’ve hurt people.”

“I have.”

“And I think you’ve done things I can never justify.”

I nod once.

“It’s…to love a man like that…” she murmurs, shaking her head. “It’s asking an awful lot of someone, Vasily. How could they ever trust you? That you were doing the right thing? How would they know that you were toeing the line when you’re the one drawing it over and over?”

I don’t have an answer. And I don’t think anyone has ever loved me, not that way, not beyond the love my parents felt for me. I see it in Timur and his wife, Natalie; the small looks they share in a room full of people, as if they’ve stolen a private moment.

Matty looks at me for a long moment.

“I don’t know what I think about you anymore.”

That should be some kind of…hope. Not that I want Matilda Pierce to fall in love with me. I can’t imagine what a pain in the ass this woman would be, so self-righteous and fiery. Coming home to that every night sounds like a chore.

I put a hand to my chest, feeling it ache and burn like embers in a fire. Concern turns Matty’s exhausted expression into a frown, and before she can say more, I stand.

“Good night, Matty.”

Her eyes follow me.

“Vasily…”

I leave before she can finish.

Back in my rooms, I pour myself a drink and stare out at the dark lake. My phone rings. Not unusual late at night, especially in times like these. I don’t bother looking at the screen.

“The prosecution wants a meeting tomorrow,” Ariadna says. “They want to discuss plea options.”

I close my eyes.

“Fine.”

For once, I don’t care about Mikhail. Even though I should. Even though the entire empire hinges on him getting out of this entanglement.

All I can think about is one sentence: Some people make themselves impossible to love.

Chapter 25

Matilda