Page 405 of Valentino

Of course, he knows, she’s not me.

I drag myself back up to my apartment to start the final clean up, I’m staying in a hotel tonight and fly out first thing in the morning.

I can’t cry anymore, there are no tears left.

My heart is an empty vessel, broken beyond repair. And the worst part is, that I miss him.

I miss him so bad that I can hardly breathe.

And I want to hate him, but I can’t even do that right.

I look around my apartment and there are a few odds and ends on the floor, my red clutch purse is sitting on the counter, the removalist found it under the cushion on my lounge when they were moving it.

I walk over and throw it into my suitcase, I’ve packed a bag of clothes to get me through the next few days. It clunks as it hits the side, what’s in there that is hard? I pick it up and look inside to see the black box with silk ribbon. “Gabriel’s pen.” With all the heart breaking, I completely forgot all about this. I quickly undo the ribbon, “Maybe he had it engraved.” I open the box and frown, there’s another felt box. I open that and gasp, I take it out and my eyes widen, it’s a diamond tennis bracelet. He bought me a diamond.

Not one diamond, but an entire bracelet.

His words come back to me; I’ll only ever buy a diamond for someone I love.

“What?” I whisper. “The hell?”

There’s a small card underneath, and I take it out of the envelope.

To my Gracie,

Forever yours,

Gabriel

xo

I screw up my face in tears as I hold the bracelet to my chest, he loved me.

In his own messed up way, he loved me.

Six weeks later.

Greenville is new, different to New York. I’ve met a few people and have taken my time unpacking, trying to find a new normal.

I still suffer from my affliction; I miss him every day.

I haven’t spoken a word to Gabriel Ferrara, he never called, and I couldn’t bring myself to talk to him now, even if I wanted to.

He broke something between us that can’t be repaired.

I wear my diamond bracelet all the time, I will never take it off.

It is my most prized possession and as fucked up as it is, knowing that he did care, makes me feel a little better.

I hope he suffers too.

I sit on the side of my bathtub and stare at the stick in my hand.

“Please be negative, please be negative.”

I’m late, and I shouldn’t be because I was on the pill.

With my heart in my throat, I watch as two lines light up and I put my hand over my mouth in shock.