Page 262 of Valentino

“Usually around five.” Anna sips her wine. “When will you be back here in Rome?”

“We can come back Friday night or Saturday.”

“Oh.” She thinks for a moment. “I’ll just wait here for you then, it’s only a few days.”

“No, absolutely not,” I snap, my anxiety rises at the mere thought of being away from her again. “We’re not spending even one night apart. We stay together.”

She gives me a slow sexy smile and holds her hand out over the table for me to take it in mine. “Okay.”

“Okay.” I feel myself relax a little.

“Can I ask you something?” she replies.

“Anything.”

Her eyes hold mine. “What do you dream about?”

Anything but that.

I pick up my glass of wine. “What do you mean?”

“The nightmares you have. What are they about?”

“Who said I have nightmares?” I sip my wine.

“I know you have nightmares, I feel you jump awake every night. You were having them three years ago when we were together, you had them a month ago when we were in Portugal, and you’re still having them now.”

“Everyone dreams.” I shrug. “You don’t dream?”

“They don’t seem like dreams, they feel like nightmares. I can feel how hard your heart is beating just from lying beside you.”

“I have no idea.” I act casual. “Nothing that I remember.”

“Val.” She lifts my hands to her lips and kisses my fingertips. “We’re together now, you don’t have to pretend to me. I’m your person now…you can depend on me, you can tell me anything.”

“Pretend what?”

“That you have it all figured out. It’s okay not to…. Because nobody does.”

“I’m fine, Anna.” I squeeze her hand in mine as guilt fills me, how could I ever admit to just how fucked up I am?

Every night I dream that I’m going to kill you…. Because I find you with him.

“You know…maybe.” She smiles over at me. “Maybe if you saw a therapist….”

“I’m. Fine. Anna.” I cut her off. “Drop it.” Anger surges through me, the very last fucking thing I need is a quack trolling through the fucked-up shit in my head.

Nothing good would ever come from the secrets I keep.

“Are we ready?” I ask, annoyed.

“Don’t give me that tone, Val.”

“What tone?” I snap.

“That tone.” She widens her eyes. “That bossy tone.”

I inhale sharply as words dance on the tip of my tongue…. Keep out of my head and we’ll get along just fine. But I won’t say them out loud because I know they’ll only drive a wedge between us, and the one thing I know that we’ve mastered is the ability to fight.