Page 244 of Valentino

He nods as if he knew where this conversation was going to end before it even began. “Alright.”

“What does that mean?”

“It means I respect your decision, and I understand.”

That’s it?

You’re supposed to fight for me.

“What do you understand, Valentino?” I whisper angrily. “Tell me what you understand.”

“You like your life the way it is, and you want to stay there…. And that you’re not prepared to give any of that up to be with me.”

My heart sinks, it sounds so cold when he says it like that. “I can live with most of it…all of it actually except one thing.”

“Which is?”

“You can’t guarantee me your safety, can you, Valentino?”

“Can anybody?” he fires back. “Do you think if you married Tom down the street that he’s guaranteed to outlive you?” He screws up his face. “I’m not sure if you’re aware of this but Tom can also sneak off to a brothel or strip show anytime he fucking wants to, Anna. Tom probably also attracts other women’s attention because let’s face it, all men do. The problems you speak of, Anna, aren’t Ferrara problems, they are trust problems…. That you have.”

My stomach twists.

“I’m not going to be compared to the kind of man I despise. The bottom line is you either trust me or you don’t.”

His eyes hold mine and I give a subtle shake of my head.

I don’t.

“I wish I did; I really do.” Tears fill my eyes. “But…I just don’t.”

His gaze drops to the bread basket on the table, and I watch the muscles in his jawline contract and clench as he thinks, or processes, or whatever it is that he’s doing inside his head.

Silence hangs in the air between us, while so many words dance in the shadows of our hearts.

Why did we run into each other, when all it’s done is bring heartbreak?

I was over him; I had moved on and screw that invisible string, it’s turned into a noose around my heart, squeezing it until all light and hope is dead.

More silence….

I search for words, I really do. Something that can turn this conversation around but how do you go back on what you want in life knowing full well that if I do that, I’ve only got myself to blame for unhappiness in the future.

I watch him sit there, with his jaw clenching, also battling to find a way out of this. But as the minutes tick by it’s becoming increasingly clear that there isn’t anything he can make himself say either. Neither of us can salvage something that just can’t exist in our respective lives.

He throws his napkin onto the table,

“What are you doing?” I stammer.

“I lost my appetite.” He stands, pushes his chair in and walks away.

My shoulders slump in disappointment.

Please don’t go….

VALENTINO

I pack the last of my things into my bag, sit on the side of the bed and glance at my watch. Anna’s been over an hour at breakfast.