Page 251 of The Heart You Kept

Edward’s having a great time and me…. Well, I’m standing beside him as he does.

I smile on cue as he chats and laughs, I’m physically by his side but not mentally here.

Not one person has spoken to me all night.

Not one.

I’m the handbag, here for show.

And it’s not his fault, he’s holding my hand and introducing me to everyone and trying his best to include me. But after the introduction, the conversation goes straight to him and work subjects that I know nothing about.

As the hours tick over I have this sinking feeling about the party tomorrow.

How the hell am I going to get through a night with all his exes in the same room, at the same party? Him knowing everyone and me knowing not a soul.

And I don’t want to be that girlfriend that demands he stand beside me all night; I want him to have fun and see his friends and talk and socialize.

But what do I do while he does that?

Do I just stand there awkwardly like I am tonight…. Hoping and praying that we can go home soon?

Fuck….

The people he is talking to finally leave us alone.

“You alright?” he asks softly.

“Yep.” I force a smile, an abysmal lie but whatever.

“Are you having fun?”

“Uh-huh.” More than anything I know that it’s not Edward’s job to make me feel comfortable in his world. I need to work this out for myself, and I’m not going to beg him to take me home early every time we go out.

I love him, I want this to work and I need to suck it up and learn to love this life.

“Do you want to go home?” he asks softly.

“Whenever you’re ready.” I smile.

“That smile didn’t touch your eyes,” he murmurs. “Why are you lying?”

Unexpected emotion fills me and I get a lump in my throat as my eyes hold his.

Because if I tell you the truth, that I hate this world…where does that leave us?

My eyes well with tears and I drop my head to hide them.

“Doe,” he says softly. “It will be okay, sweetheart. You’ll get used to it.”

I nod. “I know.”

He puts his mouth to my ear. “I love you.”

“I know.” I blink away the tears and kiss his cheek. “I love you too.”

That’s the only reason I’m here…believe me.

He squeezes my hand in his. “Another hour and we can go.”