Page 239 of The Heart You Kept

To how many women I can’t even imagine.

I begin to hear my heartbeat fast and hard in my ears and damn it, I don’t want to feel like this. Tonight is about celebrating us making it, the start of our journey together.

“I’ll just take my purse up to your room,” I murmur.

“Our room,” he corrects me as he pours the tequila into the glass.

I nod and take the stairs, he needn’t worry about putting tequila into a glass, I’ll drink it straight from the fucking bottle tonight, right before I jump overboard. I climb one staircase, then another, then another and I hear music sound through the speakers down below. A low chill-session vibe…is this his fuck playlist?

Stop it.

“What the hell are you doing, Alora?” I whisper as I get to the top level, and I know that if I keep feeling like this that I’m going to ruin the entire night. “Snap the hell out of this shitty mood.” I walk into his bedroom to see black lingerie laid out on the bed.

Suddenly what he wanted me to slip into becomes very apparent. My heart sinks, because normal Alora would put this on and vow to blow his mind, make him beg for mercy and then some.

But for some reason I’m not her tonight, I’m some weak insecure version that not even I want to be around.

I go to the window and watch on as we pull out of the port, people stand in crowds on the marina watching the grand yacht leave and I close my eyes.

Disappointed with where my thoughts are taking me.

Ever since I found out about Hermione and his past with her I’ve felt unsettled, like there’s a huge part of him that I don’t know.

I knew who he was, I knew this was his life. So why am I letting his past upset me?

It doesn’t change a thing between us in the here and now.

I know that tonight more than ever…. I need to fake it till I make it. I want to have a good night, I want us to enjoy each other and celebrate in style, maybe after a few drinks I’ll be able to relax and be more present. Let go of all this bullshit.

Yes…. Good plan.

I pick up the lingerie and look it over, I’ll come back up later and put this on.

“Okay.” I talk out loud to myself. “Let’s do this.”

EDWARD

“Serve dinner now and then I would like privacy for the rest of the night. You may all retire and I want nobody above deck,” I tell the server.

“Yes, sir.” She disappears downstairs and I continue making Alora’s margarita.

She’s upstairs right now putting on the lingerie that I bought her and I smile at the thought.

Nobody blows my mind like Alora Sorenson, nobody….

The spa is hot and bubbling and damn it, I can’t wait to replay the last time we had one together.

“Hi,” she says softly. I turn to see her still in her dress.

“Ah….” She shrugs, sensing my disappointment. “I’ll put it on later.”

I nod and pass her the margarita and she tastes it. “Perfect.” She walks out on deck and looks out over the port as it twinkles in the distance. I go and stand beside her as she watches the land in silence.

She seems different tonight, distant.

“A penny for your thoughts?” I ask.

She sips her drink. “I’m thinking this is a great margarita.”