Page 140 of Salto

A survival instinct.

I imagined the smell of mint overwhelming me, his hand moving to my hair, the tips of his fingers trailing down my back.

I shivered, and a small sob escaped me.

Stop, I told myself. Stop it, Scarlet.

The image continued despite me trying to block it out. Him pulling a blanket around us, the warmth of his body against mine, and the pain finally ceasing.

“Go to sleep, Red,” I imagined he’d whisper. And then I’d fall asleep in his arms.

With wet cheeks, I turned back toward the phone, feeling a sudden ache in my chest too. I typed a response with shaking fingers.

I couldn't have him. Not like that.

ME: Coach.

ROVE: Get some sleep if you can. We’ll adjust your routines in the morning. Remember how close you are.

More hot tears leaked onto my cheeks, but the sobs had quieted. So it was just silent, quiet tears soaking into my blanket now.

ME: Okay. I’ll see you tomorrow.

ROVE: Goodnight.

ME: Night.

CHAPTER 49

The numbers for the next week were higher than they'd ever been.

Even after the bleeding stopped, I was above a five nearly every day.

Did that mean I wrote down a five every day?

No.

Because I refused to believe they could be that high for that long.

But five and six were becoming normal.

The baseline had changed.

I was starting to wonder what a one or two had once felt like.

But I was too close to Nationals Camp to let the pain win.

It was only a few days away. Three days of training with the country's top elite athletes before Nationals. I couldn't afford to let the pain win now.

Rove was back to spotting me more than usual, and it felt like I’d taken twenty steps back after the high point I'd been at.

Every time I tried to get him not to spot, he'd get stern with me.

"I spot when you're at a six. You know that," he said firmly.

I was on the bars, wanting to do my routine alone. It was honestly making me angry that he wouldn't stop hovering. He couldn't very well spot me at Nationals. I'd score dead last.

"I'm fine," I muttered, but I cast to handstand anyway, his hands following me closely.