Page 128 of Salto

“She’s gotten involved with some bad friends," my mom admitted, and it was then I realized that it wasn’t just tiredness in my parents' faces.

It was worry.

I froze in my chair, feeling in my gut like they were suddenly keeping something from me.

“What did she do?” I asked, my voice dropping to a whisper.

My dad looked at my mom again, and more silent conversations passed between them, and I couldn’t believe they were filtering themselves right now.

“Just tell me,” I demanded, hating the beating around the bush.

“Jamie was pulled over the other night. She wasn’t the one driving, but she was in the car with a few of her friends.” My mom swallowed.

“And there were some illegal substances in the car,” my dad finished quietly.

I couldn’t process it.

What?

My little sister?

My seventeen-year-old sister doing illegal things?

“Oh my gosh,” I whispered.

“We didn’t want you to get distracted or make things harder for you with elite. She apologized for what she did, and thankfully, the cops didn’t press charges. But she’s still hanging out with her friends and insists she’s not involved with the drugs.”

“We took her phone away and grounded her, but then she proceeded to sneak out, and she stopped talking to us altogether. So we decided to try a different approach.”

I was quiet for a few minutes, processing the news that Jamie was getting involved with some bad friends.

My heart hurt.

My stomach ached, and it wasn’t pain.

It was something like regret, mixed with guilt.

Maybe if I had been here, maybe if we’d been closer, she wouldn’t have latched on to a bunch of other people. Maybe she’d been struggling with something at school, and if I had been here more, she would’ve talked to me instead of making friends with a bunch of delinquents.

“I should be here,” I said. “Maybe I can help if I move back⁠—”

“Scar, I know you want to protect her, but Jamie has to figure these things out for herself.” My mom stopped me, reaching out to place her hand over mine. “None of this is your fault. You’re a good sister. And Jamie looks up to you.”

“Does she? I’ve been gone so much, and I⁠—”

“You’re in college. That’s a normal thing to do at twenty-two years old, Scarlet. Jamie doesn’t need you home all the time to look up to you. In fact, I think chasing your dream is a great example for her.”

I suddenly remembered her going out with “friends” when she came to stay with me for spring break and the gut wrenching feeling in my stomach only worsened. Had these been the same friends?

“What if I haven’t made myself available enough? Maybe she feels like she can’t confide in me⁠—”

“Scar,” my dad interjected, his voice firm. “This isn’t your fault.”

I went quiet, not replying for a moment. It still felt like maybe a small part of it was.

“She’s just at a point in her life where she’s trying to figure things out. Being a senior in high school and becoming an adult is a difficult stage. There are so many choices to make and a lot of pressure on her. Let’s just give her time,” my mom said.

And it killed me to see the look in my mom’s eyes at that moment. I’d seen that look before. Dozens of times. It was a similar expression to the one she’d give when she saw me in severe pain. Except it wasn’t me this time causing that look. It was Jamie.