Page 9 of Sorry

Smirking smugly, he stated, “Well that's the other thing I wanted to tell you Sam, you won't need to work, I got a job offer with a big pay increase from what I am getting now, I start in two weeks.”

No no no no no! That's too soon, I can't. “But... but two weeks, Ky, that's too fast. Where would we live? Can we even pack all of our stuff and move it in that short time!” I was desperately trying to dig out all the reasons I could to delay this life sentence. Every bit of life I managed to keep outside these walls would be gone. I wouldn't see Baka. She was old. I wouldn't see her… ever again…

”This is final. I have been working on this for months and I accepted the offer two weeks ago, packing and the move will be done by the company I already hired. You can give your two weeks notice tomorrow and quit being dramatic.”

Familiar numbness set in, I felt like just giving up and not fighting him on this. It would get me beaten and I couldn't take that anymore, either. With nothing more I could say to change his mind, I just nodded and slid down in bed turning my back to him.

“I'm glad you are seeing reason Sam, and that you stopped that childish tantrum.” he quipped.

Turning to face away from him. I pretended to go to sleep, feeling devastated. But no tears fell.

CHAPTER 10

ALEX

Iam definitely losing my mind. That guy that ran into me had me hypnotized, I was sure of it… I couldn’t get his beautiful face out of my head.

I had never thought of men like that. I had always considered myself as a straight guy. It was always Tess and I, we were each other's firsts, and she was the only one I have ever been with. Am I attracted to men? Can it even happen later on in life, to start noticing men? I needed to talk to my friends about this, but I couldn't deny I was anxious. I hoped they wouldn't be dicks about it. I walked up the stairs to Jake and Matt's apartment and heard loud voices. If I didn’t know them, I would have thought they were about to kill each other. I didn’t knock and just walked in but that didn't stop their bickering.

Matt shouted, “Jake, I am not eating pizza again! We ate pizza three times last week!”

“But we haven't had a pepperoni one in so long, Matt”

“Please Jake, I am craving alfredo from ‘Nico’s’ please!” He pleaded with sad eyes, behind his nerdy glasses almost batting his eyelashes at Jake, he knew Jake had always been protective over him and had a soft spot for him. I just knew Jake would fold… Jake looked at Matt for a few seconds, and exhaled as if it was a hardship to give in to Matt. Which was bullshit, he would jump in front of a train for him.

“Fine! We will get pasta, but you are paying. I want alfredo as well but don't forget garlic bread this time Matt, I am serious, it's not the same without it”

I looked at Matt, he had the biggest, shit eating grin for getting his way as always. Jake looked toward me standing at their large corner sofa, a couple feet away from them.

“Oh hey Alex you are just in time, what do you want to eat? We are ordering from ‘Nico’s’.”

A laugh escaped me, “Get me my usual carbonara, garlic bread, and add six pieces of fried cheese balls and a portion of twelve buffalo wings. Thanks.”

“Fuck man you eat for three people… Don’t thank me, thank Matt, it's his treat since he wont let me have pizza” Matt stifled a giggle, standing beside Jake.

Jake turned his head toward Matt, and in a second he was on him, knocking him to the ground, pinning him down by straddling him and starting to tickle him. Matt was choking on his laughter, not able to breathe properly because Jake was relentless. You would think they were thirteen-year old's the way they carried on, but they were in their mid-twenties, grown ass men acting like idiots.

Once their wrestling match was over, they ordered food and we walked over to the kitchen to have a beer. For the next hour we talked about the current demolition job we have been on, for the past two weeks. The job was nearly finished so we planned out what was left to do for the week, then grabbed three more beers from the kitchen, and settled on our spots on the sofa. Me in my corner and the two of them to my left beside each other.

Matt and Jake got into a fighting match, again over who should hold the remote and who picked the movie last time.

“What's up with you? You look miles away.” Matt asked suddenly, I refocused my eyes not realizing I had phased out, lost in my thoughts.

“Did the she-witch try to make you drink a potion, to magically make you into a polished and sophisticated surgeon or a board director or some shit?” Jake sneered, not hiding his dislike for Tess. He tried to hide it at the start of our friendship but he and Matt witnessed so much of her berating, that I couldn't defend her even if I wanted to. But I didn’t defend her anymore. I was grateful to have a small support system of two amazing friends. If it wasn’t for them I would have been truly lost.

Then it dawned on me, I wasn't even thinking of Tess just now. My mind was on the guy with the sad puppy eyes. Shit I needed to talk to them. “Actually guys, there is something I need….” At that moment the doorbell rang interrupting my confession, Matt got up to answer it. Our food was here. I guess I'll talk to them later.

We took our food out of the bags and spread the containers out on the coffee table. We ate while watching an old French movie ‘Taxi 2’. It was hilarious, we had watched it before. Matt and Jake choked on their food because they were laughing every minute at the shit the crazy taxi driver was doing, but I wasn't paying attention to the movie. I was mulling over in my head how best to approach the subject of me getting hard watching men fuck, or the fact I almost heard angels sing, when my eyes connected with that beautiful guy who knocked into me, running out of the house next door.

I dramatically cleared my throat and grumbled out, “Guys I need to talk to you. I think I might be losing the plot.”

“I KNEW IT! YOU THINK SHE IS POISONING YOU??!!” Jake screeched, pausing the movie on the TV.

Matt backhanded him on the chest. “Stop that! God you really have no filter.”

I looked at my two friends and sucked in a breath, trying to gather some courage. Finally spilling the words out at a million miles per hour, “I jacked off to two guys fucking in porn! I came so hard I think I fried several brain cells. How is that possible? I thought that the guy who ran into me from next door was so beautiful… BEAUTIFUL! What does it mean??? Am I gay? Bisexual? Help me!” I whispered the two words dramatically.

Both of them were sitting with their mouths gaping open, eyes wide and neither of them were moving or breathing. I started to panic. I didn’t think they would have an issue with any of it, but they are frozen. Jake blinked for the first time in what felt like hours.