Page 80 of Golden Ruin

My heart beating on the other side of the threshold.

That I didn’t want to walk away.

That I still want her.

More now than ever.

CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE

Sterling

The waitress takes our plates, and I can’t remember a single thing the guys talked about tonight.

The last twenty-four hours are kind of a blur for me, because all I can think about is Lexi.

That kiss.

Both of them.

Dusty comes out of the kitchen to lock the door, and that’s when I realize how late it is. I’ve avoided going home all day, but it looks like I’m all out of places to run.

Places to hide.

“Everybody’s in for Dez’s party this weekend, right?”

“Yep, even though Blue’s complaining about having to size up her dress again,” West sighs, a smile ghosting.

“We’ll be there,” Dane chimes in. “Joss picked up a gift this afternoon.”

“Perfect,” Ricky nods, then his eyes shift to me next. “What about you? You and Lexi are coming through, right?”

I nod, answering his question, but my lack of words has all the guys staring at me. So, before they ask, because I know they will, I tell them.

“I kissed her. Twice. Well, technically, the first one was more mutual, but… still.”

West’s eyes are wide. “Damn. How’d that go?”

“About how you’d expect. It happened, she pushed me away.”

The words sting leaving my mouth, because I wish things had gone differently.

Much differently.

“And now?” Ricky asks.

“We haven’t spoken much since. I mean, not unless you count saying good morning when we ran into each other in the kitchen today. Other than that… nothing.”

“How’d it happen?”

I glance over toward Dane for a sec before answering his question. “A fucking video game.” I laugh a little despite the pit in my gut. “We were racing, she beat my ass, and a playful moment turned into… more.”

“It happened twice?” is Dane’s follow-up question.

I nod slowly. “Yep. The second time was when I went to her room to talk about the first time.”

Hearing myself say it out loud, I know what that sounds like. Two people fighting what feels impossible to fight. Lexi’s definitely far more resolved to keep her distance than I am, but a pull like this can go one of two ways. On one side, it can bring us together and force us to face what we feel. On the other hand, it can be catastrophic when one party takes extreme measures to fight the attraction.

And that’s the part that scares the shit out of me.