Page 66 of Golden Ruin

“You do know I’m going back to work tomorrow, right?”

My question only makes her stress even more. Hence the reason she’s muttering to herself in Spanish as she transfers the paella from a pan to a serving dish.

“And you’re sure it’s not too soon?” she asks.

“Nope. I’m healing just fine, and the doctor’s really pleased with my progress.”

She mutters to herself again, and I give up trying to convince her.

She pulls a plate from the stack that’s ready to go out to the dining room, and I watch her fill it with food.

“You’re plating everything in here? I thought we were just letting everyone serve themselves at the table.”

She hesitates, adding a slice of aioli on the side. “This is for your sister. She’s staying upstairs, so I told her I’d set something aside.”

Internally, I’m struggling to keep my expression relaxed. I knew Amelia would eventually be the topic of conversation, so I prepared myself for this. Instead of mouthing off about how pissed I still am at her, I stay silent.

Completely.

If it weren’t for my family being loud as hell in the dining room, the stretch of time without speaking might’ve felt awkward.

Being honest, I’m glad she knew not to come down. It would’ve just made everyone uncomfortable tiptoeing around us not speaking to one another.

“You can’t hold a grudge forever,” Mom says, and I literally bite my tongue. “She’s your sister, Lexi. I know she messed up, but–”

“Mom…”

Our eyes lock. I will never disrespect my mother, but I need her to know she’s overstepping.

Her gaze softens, and she takes a breath. “I’m sorry.”

She pulls out a few vegetables from the fridge and busies herself chopping them for the salad.

“Am I allowed to ask how you and my grandson are adapting to living with Sterling?”

With my back to her, I smile. She’s so damn sassy.

“Yes, you are allowed to ask, but we’re not living with Sterling. He opened his home until I get things sorted.”

“You know what I mean,” she sighs.

“I’ve got a few apartments lined up to call during my break tomorrow, so hopefully I’ll be in my own place sooner rather than later.”

She’s quiet again, which probably means she’s about to press again.

“Don’t you think you’re rushing this a little?”

What’s with all the follow-up questions?

“He’s just been so kind to let you stay there, and–”

“Mom, just… leave it alone. Please.”

She stares and all I can think about is how hard this has been. Sterling and I have history. History that runs deep. I do my best to pretend none of it affects me, but that’s just it. It’s pretend.

I close my eyes, and the first image that pops into my head is when I walked in on him the other night. Seeing him like that—all of him—it brought up feelings I don’t care to think about right now. I’ve had to reckon with the fact that he’s not completely out of my system. I feel it every time he walks into a room, every time he looks at me with that softness that undoes me from the inside out, every time we forget our boundaries and touch.

It’s hard as hell seeing him every day, doing Jax’s nighttime routine together, falling into those softer moments with him that remind me of what we had.