Page 19 of Golden Ruin

Sterling chuckles. “Nah, this is me overcompensating. I swear that kid raves about your cooking every time he’s over. So, this is me making up for my subpar spaghetti.”

I smile but hold back a little. He’s not lying. The guy can’t cook for shit.

I brush a tear from my eye, wishing I’d been able to hold it in, but there isn’t much I can do about it now.

Sterling crosses the room toward the bunkbeds, then sets my bag down. “I’m assuming you’re taking the bottom?”

I nod. “Yeah. You couldn’t pay me to climb up this thing.”

He laughs again, and the sound of it calms me. Something about it makes all this seem okay. Like he’s not secretly annoyed I’ll be staying here for a bit.

“Jax chose the one bedroom without its own bathroom, so you can use the one across the hall. Just be careful of the knob for the cold water. It’s loose, and I keep forgetting to call someone out to take a look at it.”

“Got it.” I nod, still looking at all the detail work, the layered textures and colors that make this space feel like a waking fantasy.

I step toward the window, intent on taking a peek at the view, but before I get the chance, the sound of the doorbell has a breath hitching in my throat.

Without thinking, I’m out of the room, forgetting the soreness in my limbs, because I’m suddenly aware that only a flight of stairs stands between me and my son. It completely slips my mind that this isn’t my home, that I have no right to answer Sterling’s door, but my heart’s moving me forward, tugging me right in Jaxon’s direction.

When I pull the front door to me, I lay eyes on Benny first, and I reach to squeeze his hand. But the one I nearly tripped over my own feet to get to… is Jaxon.

I’m on my knees the next second, pulling him to my chest, completely ignoring how my arm stings with the contact. I cry into his hair, and he lets me. I finally reconcile that, while holding him like this is the last memory I have before waking up in the hospital, he’s still here. I didn’t lose him in the fire.

He’s still here.

“Mommy, I was looking for you,” he says, and I can hardly hold it together.

“I know baby. I’m right here. I’m right here.”

I didn’t realize I could squeeze him any tighter than I already was, but I do, and I wish I could hold him like this forever.

I stand with him still in my arms, meaning to move out of the doorway so Benny can actually step inside. But instead, I turn right into Sterling. Quickly, like it’s purely instinct, his hands reach to steady us. One lightly holding Jax’s arm, the other on my waist. My eyes land on his, green just like our sons, and something quiet and honest passes between us. An understanding maybe. That the life we created together nearly slipped through our fingers just one short day ago.

And now, he’s here.

Safe and sound.

With us.

Blinking back tears, I finally take a breath, and Sterling slowly pulls his hand away. And as we stand there, maybe both strikingly aware of how important this little guy is to us, there’s only one feeling I can think of.

Gratitude.

I’m grateful I get to have this moment, but even more than that…

I’m grateful there are still so many more to come.

CHAPTER SIX

Lexi

This is so stupid. After everything, chopping my hair is the last thing that should have me in tears. And yet…

The reflection staring back from the mirror is me, but… not. And it has less to do with the state of my hair, and more to do with my state of mind.

Everything that’s been burned away.

Literally.