Page 112 of Golden Ruin

“You didn’t have to.” He sighs on the other end, and I feel stuck. Stuck between decisions. Stuck in this moment. Stuck wondering what comes next.

“Listen, I know you’ve had some real-life shit happening lately—the fire, your kid, your engagement ending,” he adds. “I don’t get in your business because it’s your business, but Sterling… this is the sort of thing you’ve worked hard to achieve. Now, when a deal like this lands in your lap, you’re hesitating?”

I can’t even argue with him, because from the outside looking in, my indecision wouldn’t make sense. But in my head, in my heart, the last thing I’m worried about is making more money than I already have.

When Cliff first brought up Spain as an option, I was tempted to take it because I wanted to get away, wanted to remove myself from the picture so Lexi could move on, and so I wouldn’t have to witness it. And honestly, now that I know she’s still on the hunt for another place to live, part of me still thinks leaving the country could make sense, but… something won’t let me say the words.

The last thing I want to do is run.

My head pounds when I lower to the edge of the bed and spiral a bit as my brain takes me on a tour of my home without them.

No more of Jax’s little shoes by the back door.

No rushing around in the morning as we all race out of the house.

No late-night conversations with Lexi.

No more of her hogging my bathroom to use my tub.

I’m smiling as I think about them, but it fucks me up inside knowing I’ll be missing so much once they’re gone.

Deals like Spain were what the future used to look like. But now, the future I want is in the shape of Lexi and Jax.

“I’m out,” I say flatly, surprised by how good it feels to finally just… fucking say it.

“You’re… excuse me?”

I stand from the bed, and my entire body feels lighter. “I’m declining.”

“This is insane! You have something more important going on that I don’t know about?”

“I know this doesn’t make sense to you, but… yeah. I do.”

“Sterling this is big money. This is your career!”

And despite his fearmongering, those things will be there. No, this particular deal won’t, but others. When the time is right. Because in the room next door, there’s a woman who thinks it’s in my nature to run, and I’m determined to show her I’m not that guy.

Not anymore.

“So, what do I tell them?”

Cliff sounds defeated, and I hate disappointing him, but I’m content with my choice.

“Tell them thank you.”

He chuffs a quiet laugh into the phone. “That’s it?”

“That’s it.”

He sighs one last time, then ends the call.

I’m not even thinking as I start toward my door, and the next thing I know I’m standing at Lexi’s, knocking, holding my fucking heart in my hand. I hear her quiet steps on the other side of the door, and as I rehearse what I’ll say, I’m holding my breath, hoping it’s enough for the one who wants to be shown it’s real, not told.

But as the door swings open, I swear the world stops on its axis.

Boxes. Leaned against the wall. She only has two because she doesn’t have much, but the quantity doesn’t make it easier to accept what they symbolize.

She smiles sweetly, putting a pair of silver hoops into her ears as she stares back. “Hey,” she says, barely looking at me.