Page 16 of Kobalt

“Don’t run, beautiful. Why do you keep running?” he asked me between tender but passionate pecks.

It was always hard being with Kobalt like this. He had always been gentle, caring, and protective of me. I knew that my heart was safe with him—that had never been a doubt in my mind. The truth was that I was afraid of other things that kept me from him.

I wanted to tell him, but I also feared he would hate me if I told him the truth.

“I’m not running, Kobalt. We never work out. Something always comes between us: school, your career, something. Maybe we never should’ve been.”

“Ain’t no way we shouldn’t have been when you begged me to take your virginity. You said if you had to give it away, you’d rather give it to someone who saw you, cherished you, and respected you before you wasted it on a drunken night with someone who didn’t matter to you or give a shit about you.”

“I was an emotional wreck that night because I was about to leave everything I knew.”

“You were realer than you’d ever been. I was the one who saw you, cherished you, and respected you, Kai.”

“I was naïve.”

“What’s up with you and Royal?” he asked, changing the subject.

“Nothing. Why?”

“Why were you grinning all in that nigga’s face yesterday? You told me that you weren’t trying to get involved, but he came over there to shoot his shot, and you kept letting him dunk.”

I laughed. “Oh, my goodness. Are you jealous?”

“I got a reason to be?”

“No. He came over there and told me not to look your way. He said that he knew you were watching us and that he wasn’t trying to holler at me, but he wanted to prove a point that you did have feelings for me. That was all. After that, he asked about my drawings, we talked about my business, and how we might do some work together in the future. That’s it.”

He grew silent for several long seconds, and I noticed his jaw working back and forth.

“When did we become your biggest regret, Kai?”

“I never said that I regretted us.”

“Just me then—you regretted me.”

“I don’t regret you. It seems like you were the one who had regrets—regrets that sent you running from my side and kept you away for a long time.”

“I didn’t run from your side. They presented me with an opportunity, you and I discussed it, and we agreed it was the best thing for me at the time. You were all on-board. Are you telling me that wasn’t true?”

“No, that’s not what I’m saying. It just felt convenient back then—easy. Like you regretted getting involved with me, and that was your out.”

He grabbed my chin roughly and jerked my head back. Anger radiated from his heated, dark gaze. His mouth covered mine, and he reclaimed what we both knew belonged to him anyway. The way that man kissed me made me forget my name, why we were arguing, and all types of logic and reasoning. My body responded to him like I was a computer software, and he had written the code to it.

“Does that feel like regret, Kai?”

When he released me, I felt dizzy. My inhalations were deep, and my exhalations were slow. “I didn’t regret you either.”

“No sooner than I left for Japan, you were with another man within four months. Didn’t seem like you missed me too much.”

“You kept tabs on me?”

“Yeah. Whenever I would call you, you were always too busy to talk. I knew something was going on. My sister was the one who told me you were dating someone. I shouldn’t have had to find out that way.”

“Maybe not, Kobe, but we agreed to go on.”

“You did it too easily.”

He ran his thumb over my mouth, dragged his hand down my neck and gave a little squeeze, and then looked me in the eyes and repeated, “Too easily.”