Page 57 of The Doctors Will See You Now

“And?” I found my voice.

“And…I know it’s unprofessional.”

“Unprofessional?” My head started to pound in time with my heart, and neither of the two took it at an easy pace. The vacuum was strong, sucking me toward despair at a rapid speed and threatening to keep me there.

“Yes. I wouldn’t want you to see me that way.”

“That’s it?” I questioned disbelievingly.

“I…” She chewed her lip nervously and wrung her hands together. “Yeah, that’s it.”

Every single part of me revolted. My skin tried to shred, my bones turned to dust, and my heart raced to a strain before exploding.

The memory of the sensation of her so fresh in my mind I could feel it physically, I locked it down and poured virtual salt into my wounds.

The woman you’re mourning doesn’t exist.

“Wow.” I shook my head, my voice so thick with disgust it tasted like molasses. “Don’t worry, Mel. The way I’m viewing you now is nothing but professional.”

Crowding her, I moved to the door and grabbed the handle, hoping she’d get the hint and move out of the way. When she didn’t, I vocalized the implication. “Marlene needs me in exam room six.”

She didn’t move, so I forced it.

“Will, wait,” she cried as I pulled the door open a sliver, slamming it closed with her weight and her back.

“Mel—”

“No, Will. Wait. Please?”

I took a deep breath and backed up a step to look her in the eye. If everything I’d felt for her was really going to die, I was going to have to let her hold the hammer for the final nails.

“I’m not handling this well, I know. But I wasn’t expecting this.” She paused and sighed. “And I wasn’t expecting last night either.”

A spike of anxiety mingled with hope made a sharp pain contract in my chest. The shock of the defibrillator on my heart.

“And, what? You just thought you’d have one night with me and then go back to your boyfriend?”

Her eyes widened in horror. “No! God, no. He’s my ex-boyfriend.” Her voice dropped to a mutter as she spoke to herself. “Christ, Mel. Way to bury the very fucking important lead.”

Ex-boyfriend. Christ. Well, that was at least a little better. Still, I needed more of an explanation so I pushed on. “You thought last night was what, exactly? Help me get on the same page here, Mel.”

“I don’t know!” she huffed, frustrated. “At first I thought it was about your reputation, and then when the sex happened, I thought it was more about having fun.”

“Having fun?”

“Well, yeah.”

Is it really possible she didn’t feel what I did? Am I losing my mind here?

Christ. Maybe I was. I’d only known her for a month.

Forcing myself to remember what I was like, what I’d been looking for from a woman until Melody had walked into my life about two point five figurative seconds earlier, I took a deep breath.

I was a player. I slept around, I did it with people I worked with and didn’t, and I did it often. I met women in bars, took them home, slept with them, and never spoke to them again. I wasn’t exactly a pillar of society.

That, combined with the way I was being portrayed on TV and the fact that Melody didn’t actually know me that well at all suggested it wasn’t only fair of her to think this way, it was pretty much expected. If she were any other woman, I’d be worried if she wasn’t thinking this.

She couldn’t presume the way she made me feel, just like I couldn’t presume she felt the same. Only time could prove that.