Page 124 of The Doctors Will See You Now

I laughed. “It’s going to be kind of hard for Marlene to be your coach when she’s busy being your nurse.”

In a surprising turn of events, once Melody had taken over the position of running the Women’s Clinic, she’d hired Marlene to keep the younger nurses on staff in order.

I’d had my doubts when she’d told me of her plans to hire the world’s grumpiest nurse in America, but somehow, the two of them were just the right amount of sweet and gruff to keep the clinic running like a well-oiled machine.

Their outreach and charitable successes had far exceeded anyone’s expectations, and to Thatch’s delight, had made the men behind the big investment look like the saints of New York City.

“William Morris Cummings!” she exclaimed with an accusing index finger pointed in my direction. “I will murder you. Not to mention, she just put her resignation in the other day. One more month and Marlene will be retired. Finally.”

I chuckled. “Yeah, that’s what you said six months ago, and she never actually went through with it. The day that woman retires will be the day they’re putting her in the ground.”

“Oh my God,” she gasped. “That’s an awful thing to say.”

“Oh, don’t act all high and mighty over Marlene. You know she will literally be a nurse until the day she dies. There’s no way she could give up a job that allows her to complain about anything and everything.”

I watched as she bit back her smile and shook her head.

“Anyway, Marlene’s fake retirement aside, I was thinking more along the lines of Georgia to be your labor coach.”

She groaned. “Eh, I don’t know. Sometimes your sister stresses me out.”

“I’ll give her a pep talk beforehand, I promise. Nothing but positivity and light and unicorns and rainbows and shit.”

“Oh my God.” She sank her head into her hands. “It’s gonna be like being coached by someone on LSD.”

“At least she’s been through it before, right?”

“I guess,” Melody grumbled. “And she’s probably the best person on our family roster…except for Kline. Maybe he would want to be my coach,” she said with a calculated raise of her eyebrow.

She wasn’t fooling me, though. There was absolutely no way my Mel would be comfortable having her brother-in-law coach her through labor. She didn’t need to know I knew all of that, though. She just needed to think I was willing to do whatever she needed. “Maybe he would. I’d be happy to ask him.”

Her eyes narrowed as she turned away and whined, “I really hate you.”

I chuckled. “Why? Because I’m accommodating of your every wish?”

“Because you make me feel like a bitch! Why do you have to be so helpful? Why can’t you be an asshole?”

“You want me to be an asshole?” I asked even though I knew my wife was full of baloney. She secretly loved the fact that I treated her like a goddamn queen. The joke was on her, though. She deserved to be nothing less than the center of my universe.

“Ugh. No,” she finally admitted as she moved, well, more like waddled toward the hallway. But she only made it four steps before she stopped, clutched her back, and grimaced.

The way she was rubbing at her lower back made me take notice and get serious. “You okay, baby?”

“Yeah.” She nodded. “Just…” Her eyes pinched in pain. “Ow.”

I stood up straight in one smooth motion and was at her side between one breath and the next. “Are you in labor?”

“Stop,” she sighed and waved me away with the hand not constantly rubbing at her back. “Don’t be ridiculous. It’s probably just something I ate.”

Not even listening, I moved down the hall to my home office, opened the bottom right door of my desk, and pulled out the portable cardiotocography machine, otherwise known as an electronic fetal monitor.

A quick trip back down the hall, and I was pulling up Melody’s shirt to strap the band onto her stomach.

“Oh my God. You’re ridiculous. You don’t think I’d know if I were in labor?”

I paused my work at her stomach to meet her annoyed gaze and raise just one eyebrow. She rolled her eyes. “Okay, so maybe I haven’t done it before, but I have two more weeks to go.”

“And babies sometimes come early. Another thing you already know,” I teased.