Page 105 of The Doctors Will See You Now

But he didn’t.

I tried to take a deep breath and think for a minute. I didn’t think he was out cheating on me.

But I was upset.

This felt exactly like the bullshit my ex used to put me through.

The second I’d made the decision to end things with Eli, I promised myself that I would avoid getting involved with men who were careless with my feelings.

God, what if this was why he didn’t want to tell the people in the office? What if I really was just another work fling, one in a line of flings he’d been having for ages?

Maybe he’d actually done me a favor. I would have looked like a fucking fool in public. Now, I only had to feel like a fool on the inside.

Like a moth to a flame, my brain sprinted toward the irrational need of dissecting every single moment that had ever occurred between Will and me. Have I missed something along the lines, here? Some kind of red flag? Within seconds, my mind pulled a memory out of storage and pushed it before my eyes. It was Will and me, in the office, inside of an empty patient room and seconds away from having sex.

“What? There are perks to doing this here,” he’d said through a laugh and with a condom held between his fingertips.

The way he’d joked about it, having sex while he was at work, had taken me by surprise and stunned me silent. Immediately, he’d noticed, though, and answered my unspoken question of “Have you ever done this at work?” with, “Never.”

He had looked me directly in the eyes and said Never.

And yet here I sat, listening to Emily moan at the work of his above average penis.

Goddammit. He’d lied to me.

Instantly, my body revolted at the thought. My stomach clenched, my heart ached, and my eyes filled with tears.

Why couldn’t he be honest with me?

It was truly amazing how an answer compiled of five letters could fill your head with doubts and instantly caused you to question your trust in someone.

Fucking hell, I hated the way it made me feel. I was wrong—this wasn’t like my relationship with Eli. It was a million times worse.

Right then, in that moment, I didn’t want to be anywhere near him. I didn’t want to be in his apartment when he got home tonight, and I didn’t want to have a long, exhausting conversation where he did his best to resolve the situation and I took the blame on myself in order to make it happen. I just…wanted to be anywhere else but with Will.

I hopped off the couch, tossed my scrub pants and shoes back on, grabbed my shit and headed out the door. And since I couldn’t go home to Bill and Janet’s, five minutes later, I was in a cab heading toward the Hyatt Regency.

Once I checked in to my room, I sent Will a quick text letting him know I wouldn’t be there tonight, and I turned off my phone.

Me: Janet called. Needs my help. I won’t be there tonight.

The lie tasted bitter on my tongue, but I didn’t mind. I didn’t have much of an appetite anyway. Fuck Will and his fucking pancakes.

The subway was a little more crowded than usual as I rode home from my board meeting that night. I’d have said I was excited to see Melody, but I’d gotten a succinct text message from her during the meeting, and by the time I got out, she hadn’t answered any of my calls.

And after I’d sent her a text that said, If you don’t at least send me a message and let me know everything is okay, you can’t get pissed at me for showing up to Bill and Janet’s unannounced… ☺, she’d sent back a quick, Everything is okay. See ya tomorrow at work.

Her short response left me feeling unnerved, like something was going on, but I tried to not read into it. I knew Janet could be a little trying sometimes, especially if it had to do with some sort of Jazzercise emergency.

So, after approaching the board tonight with my idea for the clinic and having them turn me down due to lack of funding, I set my focus to moving on to Plan B.

Group messages with Kline, Thatch, and Wes weren’t my normal MO, but if I was going to get them all in one place quickly, I figured this was my best chance. A phone call would open all of that air space up for too much bullshit and trash-talking.

Me: I need a meeting.

Thatch: Like, AA? Are you on the booze, William?

Christ. So much for cutting through the bullshit.