Page 103 of Colton

“Boring,” she says with an eye roll. “I thought you did something exciting.”

“It was very exciting for a while,” I hum. “Now? It was going so well until it wasn’t.”

“This is about a boy!” She concludes. The math homework becomes forgotten as she pushes the notebook away from her, shifting her attention to me fully. “Tell me all about it!”

“It’s not about a boy,” I drawl. “It’s more about the consequences of my actions.”

“This is so about a boy!” Emma squeals in excitement. “Tell me, and don’t waste a single second.”

“There’s nothing to say, really,” I sigh. “I was with a man I was not supposed to be with, and I ran away like a coward. I’ve been avoiding him since.”

“Why aren’t you supposed to be with him?” She asks with a frown. “Is he married?”

“What?! No! What do you take me for?”

She shrugs. “That’s the only thing I could see being wrong. So, let me guess, he’s older?”

“I hate how you know everything,” I sigh.

“You spent your entire high school days fawning over Alan Rickman, Ava,” she deadpans. “I kind of figured out your taste in men a long time ago.”

“Alan Rickman was a very fine man,” I defend, crossing my arms. “I adored him!”

“Yes, yes,” she waves her hand dismissively. “But if he’s older than you, I don’t see why you’d be this… upset? What’s so wrong with the age gap? Is he seventy?”

“God, no!”

“Then?” She blinks, genuinely confused. “What is it about the relationship that made you feel this… pathetic?”

“Thanks for that,” I snort. “He’s the dean of the academy.”

“Ah,” Emma clicks her tongue against the roof of her mouth. “So what?”

“There are rules, you know… no staff members are allowed to be with students.”

“Look,” she says softly. “Mom already chewed you out, so I’ll take a different approach. You got with him recently, I’m assuming, and you’re literally almost done with the Academy. Why do you care so much about what other people think? Aside from your friends, I highly doubt you’ll keep in touch with those people, and chances of you seeing them again after you graduate are slim to none. Stop overthinking it.”

“It’s not that easy,” I murmur.

Emma gets up from the floor, pulling me up with her, and we lay down on the bed. She lies on her side, propping her elbow on the mattress, resting her cheek in her palm, eyes never leaving mine.

“Then explain to me exactly why this is an issue. From where I’m standing, the age gap is there, sure, but you’re both adults, and in a few months, you’ll find a job and live an independent, adult life. Who cares?”

“He is a very powerful figure in his town, and I’m scared this scandal will end his career. I’m scared he’ll grow to resent me for it, and that everything I’ve dreamed of him ends up being just that — a fragment of my imagination,” I start fiddling with the bracelet Colton gave me, my heart aching. “I’m scared he’ll realize I’m not really worth all the trouble.”

“Did he tell you that?” She asks.

“No.”

“Then, why aren’t you talking to him? If he’s as powerful as you say he is, I can almost guarantee he’s already thought this through. Every terrible scenario? Yeah, the man likely foresaw it. Why are you dealing with this pain on your own, Ava?”

My breath hitches. There’s not an ounce of judgment in Emma’s words, just pure teenage curiosity. Her mature way of thinking makes me jealous for a moment, and then… I smile. When did my little sister become such a grown-up?

“He’s done so much for me,” I admit. “He showed me what it felt like to care about someone truly, and he showed me just how worthy he thinks I am. I’m scared, Emma. I’m scared of the future that is out there for me.”

“Ava,” she sighs. “No one’s telling you to go and marry this guy. If you break up down the road, you break up. So what? You’re too busy thinking about your future that you’re not living in the present. You’ve always been like this, too. Ever since you started the Academy, all you did was think about how to make our future easier, and you never did what you wanted to. And now that you finally have, you’re reluctant to allow yourself to feel that happiness because you’re scared it won’t last. But tell me, do you truly think it’s better to live in fear or to do what you want to do? If it fails, it failed. So what? You’ll pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and find a way to heal.”

With a snort, I shove her, and she yelps.