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Not that her mother ever wanted her father to feel that way, but it seemed as if that was all Marly ended up with.
“And he never needed me to be smaller so he could feel bigger,” her mother added.
She nodded. That was it. The thing she couldn’t seem to articulate on dates without sounding impossible.
Without coming off as cocky or better than them.
“They don’t make men like him anymore,” she said quietly. “Or if they do, they’re already taken. Or emotionally unavailable. Or allergic to commitment. Maybe carry more baggage than Paris Hilton’s private jet.”
Her mother laughed. “Your father isn’t perfect by any means, so don’t think that. I’m positive Regan will say the same about Zander.”
“I know,” she said quickly. “But he’s close enough to ruin everyone else by comparison.”
Her mother laughed. “Don’t let being Daddy’s little girl cloud your judgment.”
“I don’t judge.”
“Sounds like you are to me.”
“I try not to. But I know what I know and like what I like.”
“That’s right. The curse and blessing when it comes to dating when you’re older.” The doorbell went off, she stood and waited until the driver left, then opened the door to get the food on the porch.
Her mother grabbed plates and put them at the island where they’d sit to eat.
Marly refilled her wineglass to half and topped off her mother’s. It’d be the last for her tonight and she’d stay a few hours until it was safe to drive.
“I didn’t find your father because I was looking for perfect,” her mother said when they started to eat. “I found him because he matched my pace, my personality, and he challenged me. He respected me. And when things got hard, he didn’t run. When kids came into the picture and we were both being pulled in all directions with our jobs, we didn’t blame the other if things began to slide. We sat down and asked each other the best way to stop slipping. We did those things together.”
“Listening to you say that only depresses me more. At my age, finding that might be impossible.”
Her mother chewed the bite of sesame chicken before adding, “That kind of man exists. But he won’t look right if you’re comparing him to an ideal instead of a partner. Don’t compare your father or our marriage or Zander’s. Look for the guy who makes you feel good about yourself first. Who makes you laugh. Who turns you on. Who lets you be you. Someone you can trust to be yourself with. The other things, they will fall into place just fine.”
She shifted on the stool, her fork pushing food around more than putting it towards her mouth. “What if I don’t want to settle for just fine?”
“Then don’t,” her mother said simply. “You never have. But don’t confuse safe with right either. Don’t confuse perfect with anything. No one is perfect. Not even you.”
Her fingers tightened around the stem of her glass, and she took a drink while she let those words sink in.
Safe.
Colson’s easy smile flashed uninvited through her mind. The way he filled a room without trying. The way people trusted him instinctively. The way he’d looked at her across the conference table. Proud, amused, a little something softer than she expected.
The way she trusted herself to be open with him without judgment.
But they were adults in different careers now.
The same careers as her parents.
And maybe that was why he wasn’t far from her mind at the oddest of times.
“He never seems intimidated by me,” she said before she could stop herself. Matter of fact, Colson never seemed one way or another when she was around during working hours.
It was as if she was still Marly Conway, a girl he once dated and then was friends with.
Her mother’s eyebrows lifted just slightly. “Are you talking about Colson?”
“What?” she asked and shoved random food into her mouth.
