Page 1 of Coastal Rewind

prologue

Ryleigh

“Ms. Kelly, do you understand what I’m saying to you?” Dr. Randolph’s eyes looked concerned as he waited for me to acknowledge a single thing he’d said over the past hour.

The moment he read out my test results, my body went numb and my mind drifted into fight or flight mode. The only thing that was keeping me grounded was my father’s iron grip on my hand. I glanced up and nodded once in understanding.

“Great. We’re going to set you up with yearly appointments. Other than that, if you have any new symptoms or abnormal pain, please give us a call.”

My dad and I rose from our chairs, and I felt his hand graze my lower back before he gently guided me out into the waiting area. I sat on a bench and pulled my knees up to my chest before resting my cheek there while Dad approached the checkout desk.

I felt so small as my world started to crumble around me. I wasn’t even sure how I got here—how everything could change so suddenly. I remembered the pain—but I’d felt that every month since I was twelve.

I remembered screaming and then I remembered the glimpse of blood before I passed out. I woke up on the cold tile floor, alone and sweating.

My dad found me as I was trying to clean the bathroom. His eyes went wide as he took in my blood-soaked clothes while I tried cleaning the floor with spare washcloths. It was straight out of a horror movie. I was a mess of sobs as he pulled me to my feet and called the doctor immediately.

They got me in for a rushed appointment two weeks ago and ran a bunch of tests where they poked and prodded my body. A few days later I was taken in for a biopsy. Even though I was almost eighteen, no one told me anything in the moment—they just stuck me with the largest needle I’d ever seen in real life and had hushed conversations with my dad behind locked doors.

Now, we were here.

My dad booked my next appointment before we walked out to the car in silence. He was trying to act strong, but I could see it. The fear. He was potentially going to relive the nightmare he endured once all over again…and it was all my fault.

There was a reason I never told him about the pain.

There was a reason I suffered in silence so the rest of the family could have a few more moments of peace. I was supposed to be the one who supported my siblings, not the one who needed to be held up.

Dad started the car but didn’t move to leave the parking spot. Instead, he reached over the center console and palmed my knee.

“You’re going to be okay, Ry. I promise.” His voice was calm and soothing but it wasn’t as reassuring as he hoped.

I knew I’d be okay for as long as I could be, but that didn’t mean that a part of my dreams didn’t die today. The future I had meticulously planned caught on fire right before my eyes.

“You have options. I know they’re scary, but if it’s something you are really worried about, then you can always explore them.”

I realized my dad was still talking when I blinked up at him.

“I know. Maybe when I’m older.” I shrugged. It was a cop-out answer but I had no interest in making decisions right now.

Were you ever really old enough to make a massive, life-altering decision like that? I wasn’t even eighteen and they expected me to decide if I ever wanted to have kids. I could barely decide if I wanted to paint my nails Lincoln Park After Dark or Black Onyx.

“Wait until after you turn thirty. That’s when you’ll feel like a real adult. There’s no rush.” My dad chuckled in an attempt to lighten the mood.

“Sounds like a plan.” I smiled at him. He brushed his thumb gently over my knee before he looked forward and pulled out of the parking lot in the direction of our Hartford, Connecticut home.

I stared out the window at the muted brown and green trees that lacked any form of meaningful life in the spring air that still held a chill. I couldn’t help but compare them to me. Everything around me was going to warm and grow in the changing seasons, but I wouldn’t. I was stuck. I was in this timeline where I’d be alone forever with no hope of freedom.

Something had to change.

When we pulled in through the gates of our estate, I glanced up at my dad’s hard profile. He wasn’t going to like what I had to say.

“Can we not tell anyone about this?” I whispered, just loud enough for him to hear it. “I don’t want everyone to worry and I really don’t want Owen to feel responsible for my health or safety.”

The truth was, if Owen found out that I had sex with Todd Williams before we broke up, he’d likely break multiple bones in the poor kid’s body. It wasn’t his fault my body rejected the baby. It wasn’t his fault I didn’t even tell him what was happening. It wasn’t anyone’s fault that one miscarriage revealed my body’s hidden secret.

My twin brother was uptight and a rule follower, but he was also my best friend and fiercest protector. He’d make it his duty to ensure I was okay, and I didn’t want that burden on anyone’s shoulders but my own.

“Sure, sweetie,” he affirmed before taking the key out of the ignition. I knew he didn’t want to keep the secret, but I was almost eighteen and I had the right to my own privacy. I peeled myself out of the car and quietly made my way up to my bedroom. Once I hit my mattress, I curled up into a ball and brought my duvet up to my chin.