Page 21 of Venomous as a Snake

“What?” I inquire, confused by his comment. “What does a cat have to do with anything?”

“It’s just…” Collin swings his arms around—like he does when he’s the spunky kangaroo—lost for words. “She’s really pretty and delicate-looking. And she’s graceful, but she walks too light—”

I step forward and shove the blinds open, chuckling when my roommates dive for the floor.

I sort of regret it, too.

The woman climbs the ladder out of the deep end of her pool, long platinum hair draping to her waist. Her wet locks leave rivulets of water dripping down her lower back across her bare ass.

“You’ve been watching her skinny dip?” I ask, frowning at them.

The rhino blinks twice before shaking his head. “Wait.”

“She’s naked?” the kangaroo replies, climbing to his knees.

Collin and Forrest peer over the windowsill, not daring to get too high. They don’t want to be seen now that I’ve blown their cover.

I sigh as I lumber away from them. “Are you going to help me or not? I’ve already got the meat and sides prepped, but one of you vegetarians needs to do your vegetable voodoo.”

“It’s not meat,” Forrest calls to my back. “It’s a veggie burger.”

“Make it so I can cook it…” I respond. “Or find something else to eat.”

“You should try one,” he suggests, a few steps behind me.

Collin hops over the banister, landing on his feet on the first floor. “I don’t know how you’ve lived with us for so long and not tried tofu or veggie burgers or—”

“It’s not a real burger,” I interrupt.

“But it’s so good,” he groans.

I snort at him. “Yeah, but what kind of animal did it come from?”

“It’s healthy for you,” the rhino adds.

“You realize I’m a carnivore, right?” I glance over my shoulder at them. “Also, saltwater crocodiles are known to be cannibals… So…”

“Kangaroo meat is high in protein,” Forrest quips, then stops as Collin stares at him in disbelief.

“Really? That’s pervy.” The kangaroo rolls his eyes before laughing. “It’s also accurate, but maybe say it in a less dirty way. You’re really on a roll today, Fo. Celibacy is killing you.”

I snatch the lighter off the kitchen island and make for the back patio, away from their bickering. The silence doesn’t last long. I’m able to get the charcoal into the chimney and onto the grill before they burst through the back door.

Collin sets two plates on the side of the grill, and I move them to the patio table.

“They’re plastic,” I remind him. “Do you want to pick the melted pieces out of your food? Because I won’t do it.”

He waves my question away. “So, about the neighbor. Who is she?”

“How the fuck should I know?” I retort.

“You asked about her,” the kangaroo snarks, like he’s caught me in some lie.

I’m not ready to explain what I thought I saw. Not until I get confirmation. And if it’s not her, then I won’t have to talk about it.

“We share a fence with her,” I explain. “And her dog. I’d like to know if she’s the kind of neighbor we can talk to when the dog barks at four in the morning. Or if she’s a salty bitch who’ll call the cops on us the moment we step onto her sidewalk.”

“He’s got a point,” Forrest admits, nodding his head.