Page 15 of For the Ghastly and Beautiful

Chapter5

Adelaide

DAY TWENTY-SIX

Two days have passed me by, and I still feel like I’m suffocating. My chest aches from the strain of taking a deep breath. My fingers tingle with promises of untold destruction. And I’m losing my goddamn mind in this room. All I’ve done is chase the sun’s rays from the windows and sleep. It’s total déjà vu.

While my body has recovered, my mind is in a never-ending tailspin.

I didn’t enjoy dying.

Not that it hurt.

It’s just… I was going to take my own life. But now that I’ve died and come back to life, I can’t imagine how hard it would have been to… Well, I don’t know. I had not planned the how of my suicide attempt. I only knew the why.

Now, even if I wanted to follow through with the old idea, I can’t.

That takes some getting used to.

I don’t think I’ll understand what immortality means until—fuck. I don’t know that either.

When I’m stabbed in the heart?

When sharks feast on my flesh, but I survive being ripped to shreds?

When one of these gigantic trees grows weak in the roots and tumbles over, and I’m somehow caught underneath it in the worst turn of luck ever?

Jesus, Neptune, and Osiris.What the fuck is wrong with me?

I mean, other than being cooped up in this colossal room with nothing to do?

The guys have popped in and out throughout the day. Rinya was here yesterday. But it’s not enough. I need to see outside of these four walls. I need the sun on my skin and the ocean lapping at my legs as the sand tickles my toes.

Why am I here anyway?

I shouldn’t complain. I know this.

Having a locked door between me and everyone else is a luxury that I didn’t have until now. It’s comforting, but that’s the end of the list. I’m ready to make decisions for myself, and being moved into the palace takes more of my freedoms away.

Or that’s what it feels like.

After throwing my internal tantrum, I realize it isn’t all true. No one sits at my door to stop me from wandering the halls. Isolde doesn’t mind if I use her sewing room or spend time in her garden.

I’m still terrified of venturing into the kitchen, but that doesn’t mean I have to stay in my bedroom. I have other—safer—places to go.

So that’s what I’m doing.

I tie up my sandals and walk out the door, deciding on the spot that I want to teach myself how to sew something other than panties and a swimsuit. I take the stairs from Ecaeris’s wing down to the main floor, and then I climb up the opposite staircase into Isolde’s domain.

The only problem I have with this idea is that I can’t quite recall which room is the right one. I find a few unused bedrooms before I throw this trip out the window and head toward the garden.

“Ada,” Isolde calls out to me when I pass the dining hall. As I turn around to greet her, I roll my eyes. “I’m happy you walked by just now. I’ve been concerned, but you’ve saved me from hunting you down.”

I give her a tight smile as I nod. We went through that crazy power exchange, and she’s been scarce ever since. So, I’m a little pissy at the queen.

Irrational,my brain screams at me. Overwhelmed. Not her fault.

“You were worried about me?” I inquire, my brows arching downward.