Page 13 of On Your Life

“You’re ridiculous,” I sigh.

His ears twitch as soon as I open the plastic container and toss him a treat through the opening. He catches it before it even hits the ground.

“You’re a good boy, even if you’re a raging psychopath.”

He settles down with the treat clutched tightly between his paws. I grab my keys from the counter and head toward the door. The weight of them lands in my palm and something solidifies in my head.

This gym session is going to be therapeutic. The anger from last night still simmers beneath my skin but I shove it down. I can save it for later.

I didn’t know that it was possible to hate another human being as much as I hate her. Every time I close my eyes I think about her. Every dream I had was another way to claw into her fragile mind. Another way to make her understand exactly what she’s done. I need to start writing this shit down. Maybe then I can keep track of all the ways I want to make her pay.

She may think that she’s already paying for her crimes but I’m about to show her what payment really is.

A crow lands on the hood of my truck before I turn over the ignition. It stares at me, head cocked to the side, black feathers shifting in the afternoon breeze. I stare back.

“Conner?” I ask, like the bird will somehow speak back.

The bird gives a sharp caw. A laugh slips out of me before I can stop it. I have truly lost my mind.

“Yeah, I’ll take that as a sign,” I say to myself.

For the first time in a long time I’m looking forward to going to work tonight.

***

My bicep burns as I scan my badge to enter the prison. The familiar beep sounds followed by the click of the lock releasing.

I roll my shoulder, feeling the pleasant ache from my workout settling deep into my muscles. Every bit of resentment and anger went into those weights, every rep fueled by the same face I can’t seem to get out of my head. Somehow, it’s still overflowing.

Briefing is short today. I’m a little surprised she didn’t rat me out for last night. Someone must have told her that it wouldn’t work in her favor.

I spent years making sure my reputation remained spotless. My dad was known for always being the best of the best and I swore I would never let him down. I followed his footsteps in this place because for the longest time I thought that was what I was supposed to do.

I was supposed to be the good officer, the reliable one. Be the guy that everyone trusted to do the job.

Sorry dad. I’ll make it up to you later.

“Fox, a word,” the captain calls after me while everyone disperses.

There it is. A man can hope.

“Listen, cap I-”

“Are you sure you’re comfortable working B pod? I can hire someone else and move Riggs to dayshift,” he says.

I blink. Well, that’s not the direction I was expecting this to go. I’m almost disappointed in the little killer.

A hard lesson learned would have done her some good. I would have enjoyed seeing the disappointment on her face when she tried, and failed, to convince the captain that I disrupted her oh so needed rest.

He would’ve laughed in her face. I’m the best officer he has and everyone knows it.

“Yeah, I’m fine sir.” I force my expression into something neutral. “I even started working out again today. I feel like the exposure is helpful for me in a way,” I lie.

It comes out so smooth that even I almost believe it. The captain looks me over, his eyes narrowing slightly as if he’s trying to decide whether arguing with me is worth his time. Finally, he sighs.

“Well if you change your mind let me know. I appreciate you taking this on, it’s admirable,” he says with a small smile.

I have a lot of respect for him. My father did too. They were thick as thieves in their early years at the prison, back when my dad was still working his way up and the captain was just another officer trying to make a name for himself.