Page 195 of The Comedown

“Did you two get a sitter for the night?”

“Yes.” Maybe they got a room here. “You?”

“Holter tried fighting me on it because he thinks he’s too old for a babysitter…”

“Tai, too.” Kim-ly laughs.

“…but with all the craziness from the trial and everything…” I trail off, taking a huge breath. “Mary’s staying the night with him.” It was nice having her around today before I left the two alone. Mary has become a sort of mother figure to both me and Holter, so not having her nearby these last several months has taken some getting used to. I’m not sure I fully have though. She’s the only maternal influence I’ve had since I was sixteen and I genuinely enjoyed having her around.

“Wise choice. We caught Tai sneaking a girl out of the theater room last weekend.”

My eyes go wide. “I didn’t even consider girls. I’m not used to being…around.”

She turns toward me, her smile finally dropping. “How are you liking it? Being home?”

“I’m liking it,” I answer simply to a question that’s anything but simple.

“Have you heard from him?” she hedges, and without even saying his name, I know who she’s talking about.

I shake my head, scared what’ll happen if I try to answer that.

Five days after I walked away from Julian, I was notified he’d checked himself into rehab. I was hopeful. Elated really. He did it. He chose to quit.

Almost immediately, Irelynn came to me and gave her two weeks’ notice. She was off to follow Axel around the world. Apparently, what they had wasn’t a tour-mance, and Axel had a name to make drumming for other artists besides Julez.

Before those two weeks were even up, it was all over the news that Julian left rehab early. He’d chosen again.

I reached out to Tomás, to suggest different programs—maybe another one would be a better fit—but both he and Julian blocked me. Bare was already working for another celebrity, so he wasn’t any help either.

Other than a post from Julian himself where he informed fans he was taking an indefinite hiatus, I haven’t seen or heard anything about him since. Not in the news. Not from Irelynn. Not from anyone. Every night I stare at my phone, wishing it’d light up with his name as much as I wish it wouldn’t. I miss him so bad it hurts. But it hurts more imagining the damage he’s causing himself by not getting the help he needs.

I promised Julian I’d find him if he didn’t come back to me…but how much longer am I supposed to wait? I refuse to believe it’s over between us for good, but the more time that goes by without hearing from him, the more faith I lose.

We arrive at the highest floor of the hotel, and with the staff’s help, Kim-ly and I find the roof’s access just in time to greet David, then we’re all back in the elevator, going down this time.

“Your hair’s a mess.” Kim-ly laughs, helping her husband fix the damage from the wind. “You can’t look like this for your first time on a stage.”

I turn to gape at my friends, asking David, “You’re going onstage?”

“Do you mind sharing some of the spotlight tonight, Collette?” David asks with a grin while his wife licks her palm to run over his strands.

“David, after the last seven months, I will happily hand you all the spotlight.” I’ve had enough to last seventeen lifetimes. “I’m just…shocked. Why didn’t you tell me beforehand? This is huge.”

“Blame her,” he says, jerking a thumb at his wife, and she laughs, smacking his hand before grabbing it to hold.

It’s difficult to look at the couple as they gaze so tenderly at one another and not feel it, the tug I always get whenever I’m reminded what being loved by Julian felt like. It’s that piece of me he took with him, I know it. God, how I wish he’d bring it back already. Bring him back. I just want Julian.

“Oh,” I say, shaking myself. “Where’s the item for auction?”

“Uh.” David glances at his wife, and she shrugs. “How about a helicopter ride around LA?”

“With you?” I can’t hide the skepticism in my voice. David’s not that kind of pilot. He doesn’t do tours, only flies himself and his family around when needed.

“Sure.”

Both my friends avoid eye contact with me for the rest of the ride down, then the elevator doors are opening to the lobby, ending the strange silence.

David extends his elbows out to me and Kim-ly, so we each take one, exiting together.