Page 188 of The Comedown

Probably worse.

“No way?”

I shrug. “I don’t know. Maybe.”

“You should go to the hospital.”

“Hospitals have real doctors,” I murmur, shaking my head.

“And you only see fake ones?”

“I see ones that’ll okay me for tour.”

Axel frowns.

“What’s wrong with your ankle?” Julian snaps.

“Didn’t you see the fucking videos?” Axel spits right back. The videos of what transpired on stage, including Bodee’s outburst in my face, are circulating online at this very moment, have been for hours now, and they’re only gaining momentum.

Just me being seen here could threaten my credibility, but I can’t walk away from Julian. I never could.

“Why would I need to see the videos when I was fucking there, fighting off—”

“She landed from twelve feet off the fucking ground right next to you, and you didn’t even notice. You didn’t even care.”

“Fuck you. You don’t know what the fuck you’re talking about.”

“Fuck you. You’re an idiot. You’re the one that put her up in the rafters, then fucking left her hanging there.”

I don’t bother correcting Axel on how high up I was. I’m too busy trying to figure out…all of this. Julian doesn’t want Axel talking to me, but he’s acting like he himself doesn’t want to talk to me. He didn’t come back to our shared suite after his release, and he didn’t expect to see me here, at a hotel across town from the one we booked, either. Did he think I would break up with him for what he did onstage?

Or was that him breaking up with me?

During the ceremony, he acted like…

He acted like he was getting ready to say goodbye.

“Don’t leave me before you even leave me.”

“I’m already gone, Collette.”

Then his spontaneous rap that sounded like a fast-paced serenade but felt like a goodbye…

He did say goodbye.

Every rib contracts, making my chest ache.

I knew this was coming, didn’t I?

Naturally, I had my doubts around the longevity of our relationship, which led me to consider the very real possibility that it wouldn’t make the long haul. As much as I hate to admit it, a breakup seemed probable…at some point.

I never could’ve imagined it’d feel like this though. Like a piece of me, a different piece than the one Holter holds, is being ripped away just as ruthlessly as when Bodee showed up, whisking Holter out from under my nose.

Did he really break up with me without even technically breaking up with me? One rap and we’re done?

Julian pretends to gasp, pulling my gaze to his. “If your ankle’s jacked up, how will you run away to go on your precious little tour now? Maybe you won’t be able to tour at all, finally making you a true has-been.”

“So, we’re right back to where we started, huh, little lamb? The has-been squaring off against the never-was?”