Page 63 of Let the Light Shine Through

Instead, I glide my pointer finger along the crotch part of her underwear, loving the way she fucking shivers, then crook my finger inside the black cotton, teasing her wet lips with my knuckle before dragging the briefs down her legs to join her discarded romper. I kiss from her toes up to her belly button, and when I stop, Gia’s watching me through guarded eyes she didn’t have a minute ago.

“Stop trying to seduce me already. I’m here. I’m ready. Let’s fuck.”

She wants my words as long as they’re not promises. She wants to fuck as long as I don’t seduce her.

“I’m not seducing you.” I guide her back on to the bed, positioning her the same as before, just at the edge. “I’m memorizing you. I’m drawing this out—”

“No shit,” she mutters under her breath.

“—so that I can savor every single moment.” Collect them, like Gia said. “In my dreams, I’ve already had you in every way possible, and I’m fucking sick that I won’t get to do those things to you in real life. So instead, I’m trying to make sure the next time you come to me in my sleep, I get it right. How you sound when your breath catches when I put my lips on you. How soft your skin feels under my fingertips. How hard your nipples get after I suck on them. How fucking good your nails feel digging into my scalp just before you come on my tongue.” I groan at the memory, my dick fucking begging to be touched. “How your pussy tastes. How you taste, Gia.”

Everything I say I do and every reaction she gives, I catalog the hell out of.

After giving her collarbone a tender kiss, I glance up at her, and it almost looks like her eyes are misty, but then she smirks and they’re clear.

Are mine misty then?

No.

“Your turn. Tell me what you want, baby.”

“A million right nows. I can’t change yesterday. Tomorrow doesn’t matter. I just want this moment right here, right now, with you looking at me like I hold the world in my hands. I want it a million more times,” her voice wanders off, “but tonight will have to do.”

“Why?” I could give her this a million more times. If she’d let me.

Gia averts her gaze, saying, “Stand.”

I push to my feet, watching silently as she reaches out to undo my boardshorts. Without taking my eyes off Gia, I step out of the shorts, kicking them to the side.

She eyes my rigid cock, then my face.

“You’re the star, Roz.”

I shake my head, feeling my body instinctively sway from one side to the other.

Gia’s hands shoot out, catching my hips to keep me from rocking. “Don’t go yet, cowboy. I need you here still.”

“Lose the rings,” I rasp, and keeping eye contact, she does just that before bringing one hand around to fist my cock. Up and down with a half spin at the head, Gia keeps up the pattern until precum starts to build on the tip of my cock and I have to pull her hand away.

“This is what you want?” My voice is thick like molasses.

“I want…” Come on. Come on. “I want you to fuck me like you’ll never get to again.”

Roz

Gia’s words float like a butterfly, but sting like a motherfucking wasp.

She said I could have anything I asked for but that’s not true at all. She won’t give me what I want, what I really want.

What exactly do I want?

I don’t know what I want, only what I don’t want, and I don’t want to snowboard anymore, a decision my body wholly refuses to surrender to. Boarding used to be the only thing I did want, yet every day, I deliberately deny what my heart craves most.

Is that what Gia’s doing? What happened to her that she won’t even try anything other than a one-night stand?

This past week wreaked havoc on my self-control, but I know—I fucking know—she’ll disappear the second I take things to the next level. Like the white fluff on a dandelion, she’ll drift away on the faintest of breaths, leaving me to watch in helpless wonder as she goes.

I’m not like every other guy she’s fucked around with. This isn’t like that. She could’ve screwed me already, just as easily as I could’ve screwed her, but the fact that she hasn’t yet means I can’t be the only one that feels this undeniable connection we have.