Page 13 of Let the Light Shine Through

She blows a kiss at the whispering trio, making them finally turn away…as one.

Through my growing smile, I ask, “What about me?” but she tsks, saying, “You owe me an answer first.”

With a lift of one of my eyebrows for her to continue, she asks, “Why aren’t you talking?”

“I am.”

“Before today.”

“It wasn’t a choice. I just didn’t have anything to say.”

“There’s always a choice,” Gia says softly, studying me, and I shift my weight from one foot to the other, sticking my hands in my pockets.

Louder, she tells me, “I like your voice.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. You should use it more. You never know who’s listening.”

“Nobody’s listening.”

“I am.”

Okay…

My shoulders bunched up near my ears, I say, “So… What bird am I?”

Unceremoniously as all hell, she pops a shoulder, saying, “Not sure yet,” before strutting away without another word.

What? She has every other person here pegged, down to the tiniest idiosyncrasies, but she doesn’t know which bird I might be? She either doesn’t want to tell me or she just doesn’t want to be bothered with new classifications.

But if that were true, why’d she say “yet”?

Hours. It’s been hours of this shit. I tried doing the math—what the fuck else was I supposed to do?—and I don’t think it’s an exaggeration to say that before today, before Gia appeared, I did go weeks without talking to a single fucking person. But I didn’t care about those weeks. I didn’t even notice. Now though, in the hours of silence since Gia waltzed away from my ass, now I care. Now I’m noticing.

Everywhere Gia goes, I can’t help but watch her. I promised myself I’d give her space—for my sake more than hers. If she isn’t interested, then why torture myself? But not talking to her is even more painful.

I finally said something to someone, but now I’m back to this purgatory where I watch the world move on but am no longer an active participant in.

For the briefest of moments, I was a part of it though, at least it felt like it. Gia made me feel like it.

Her voice suddenly rising has me treading closer, closer than I’ve dared all night. T.J. being in the same circle gathered around Gia may or may not be the final tug on my restraint at staying away, and I climb the stairs to the patio, giving myself a better vantage point.

“A woman sleeps with different people so she can feel wanted. A guy fucks everything in sight to prove his worth. She gets labeled a slut while he looks like the man. How is that fair?”

My eyebrows shoot to my hairline. She’s got a point. Half the gathering crowd agrees while the other half shouts their own objections, which sound like mouth farts and reek like ignorance. It’s actually pretty embarrassing.

With my beer bottle hovering up near my mouth, I take a quick smell to rid myself of the bitter odor all while keeping an eye on Gia. The guys in her corner seem to have her back, but a couple of them jostle her in the excitement and I don’t like it. I don’t like it one bit.

“So where does that leave your reputation, G?” T.J. asks Gia, his stare piercing hers while all the other eyes in her corner drop to the ground with the subtlety of an atomic bomb.

What’s going on?

Gia shakes her head. “Men always care more about women’s reputations, meanwhile you should be worried with your own.”

T.J.’s eyes narrow, but Gia doesn’t back down an inch. In fact, she hops down from the same spot on the cooler she was perched this afternoon to step closer to him.

Cocka-dude surges forward, leaving his current squeeze to stand beside his friend, and my own feet make the final move to push through the tight circle. Now if someone jumps, I can jump, too.