Page 31 of Every Time We Touch

Mom’s still shooting on location and because Dad’s been dumped, Austin has invited us all to brunch at his and Juan’s. The message he sent in our sibling group chat literally said: Let’s cheer up Dad.

Obviously, I want my father to feel better, but how can I possibly be part of cheering him up? Another two days have gone by, and time has not yet done that magical thing that erases any inappropriate feelings you may have for another person. On the contrary.

“Hi, honey.” Dad wraps his arms around me, as he has done a million times before, and I can’t get out of his embrace quickly enough. “How are you?” he asks. I just nod and shrug off his question.

We all sit and even though it’s barely noon, Juan’s pouring champagne—“the best medicine I know for a broken heart,” he claims.

“You won’t be single for long, Eric,” Juan says. “Trust me.” Juan assured me of the exact same thing after Marcy and I broke up and I’ve been single for quite some time now. “Silver foxes like yourself are in high demand in Los Angeles.” Juan could hardly say that to me.

“It’s all right, kids,” Dad says. “Clancy’s…” He fills his cheeks with air. “She’s something else.”

Tell me about it.

“What did she say when she broke up with you?” Lauren asks.

He runs his fingers through his thick head of gray hair. “Just, um, that she wasn’t really feeling it anymore and didn’t want to string me along.”

To have to sit here and listen to this, looking sympathetic, is its own kind of torture—or perhaps the punishment I need.

“How are you feeling?” Heather asks.

Dad sighs. “It’s a shame. I liked her. A lot. But, you know…”

Dad won’t want to bang on about this. Just being in the company of his children will be enough. I only hope the same goes for my siblings, who see endless processing as a vital part of any event—good or bad. Ironically, what he just said about Clancy quite accurately reflects how I feel about her as well.

“It wasn’t meant to be,” Austin says.

“It was a bit silly bringing her to brunch at your mother’s,” Dad says. “So soon, I mean.” That’s my dad for you: worried about us first and foremost. But it also says something about the strength of his feelings for Clancy—he wouldn’t have introduced her if he hadn’t been completely smitten. Also something I have no trouble grasping. “But I’ll be just fine.”

He looks over at me and our gazes lock for an instant. I see the sadness in his eyes and it’s not something you want to see in your parent—especially not if you’re the indirect cause of it.

The conversation drifts to a different subject and I try to focus, try to contribute—usually not an issue—but my mind keeps wandering to that kiss. To that moment when I couldn’t take it anymore. I tried running but instead of fleeing into the changing rooms, of basically cornering myself, I should have rushed outside never to return to that studio.

“What’s going on with you?” Juan’s hands land on my shoulders. “Do you need a pity party as well?” he whispers in my ear. “Tell me everything I don’t know yet but desperately want to hear.”

I laugh off his comment, but I’m not the kind of person who can hide how she really feels forever. I’ve never had to keep secrets from my family.

“Just one of those days,” I say.

“Is that why you want to sell your period app?” Juan asks. “It doesn’t stop you from getting cranky when it’s that time of the month.”

“That’s a very long time of the month.” Heather, who’s probably still worried about me after last Friday, has pulled her chair closer. “Are you unwell?”

“I’m out, sisters,” Juan says. “No need for me in this particular conversation.” He tops up our glasses before sauntering off.

“It’s not physical,” I assure Heather. It might as well be, because that’s how it feels. Like my body’s missing something it suddenly can’t live without. “Just a bit of a gloomy spell.” Again, I’m on the same page as Dad. I so wish he’d never brought Clancy to brunch. That I’d never met her and could just live my life unaware of her magnificent existence.

“Tell me whenever you’re ready,” Heather says.

But I’ll never be ready to tell her this.

Chapter 16

Clancy

Skye measures the wall Jennifer pushed me up against last Wednesday. I swallow hard at the memory. All my ties with the St Jameses have been broken since I split up with Eric last week. After that kiss, I couldn’t bear to spend one more minute than necessary in his presence—when all I could think of was his daughter.

Even though I liked him and, perhaps, if the circumstances had been different, we might have had a future together—although, who am I kidding?—the tightness in my stomach is not caused by our breakup.