Page 29 of Every Time We Touch

As though I’ve flicked an invisible switch, Jen pulls away from me abruptly, leaving my hands dangling in the space between us.

“No. No. No,” she says. “This can’t happen.”

Her breath is uneven and there’s pure panic in her eyes, as though she’s only just now realizing what’s been going on.

She glares at me. “I have to go.” Again, she doesn’t move. “We can’t. I mean—” She shakes her head. “Oh, god.” She covers her face with her hands.

“Hey.” I push myself away from the wall but keep the most respectable distance I can. “It’s okay.”

“It’s definitely not okay.” I can just make out the muffled words from behind her hands.

“It was just a kiss,” I lie. “Nothing really happened.” Oh, the lies we tell ourselves.

She drops her hands. The despair with which she kissed me earlier is now etched across her face.

She inhales deeply and holds her breath for a few beats, before slowly releasing the air from her lungs. “Okay.” She smooths her tank top—her nipples still protrude, a stubborn piece of evidence of what we’ve just done. “It was just a kiss.” She squares her shoulders. “We can forget about a kiss.” She looks at me and all I see in her eyes is the question: “Can’t we?”

“Yeah.” At least one thing has become crystal clear to me. I know what I have to do—and I’ll be doing it tonight.

“I… don’t want anyone to get hurt.” Her gaze locks on mine, but soon drifts away. “No more tango lessons, I guess.” Her voice catches on the last word.

“Better not.” There’s no way I can ever dance with Jen again—not if I want to refrain from kissing her.

“Are you, um, okay?” she asks.

Hell no. “Look, Jen, just so you know… I’m not going to keep seeing Eric. I can’t do that after…” I fold my arms across my chest. “This.”

“Okay.” She rubs her fingers along her cheeks. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t apologize.” I push my hands against my rib cage as a way of physically stopping myself from walking over to her. “And don’t worry. This stays between us. I’m not going to tell Eric this is why I’m breaking up with him.”

“No one in my family can ever know about this kiss,” she says.

“Sure.”

“And, um…” She bites her bottom lip. “We can’t see each other again.”

“No, I guess not.” What I wouldn’t give to be able to date Jen. To have met her a few months ago, before I swiped right on her father.

“Bye.” She swallows slowly. “Why is this so hard?”

“Shit is hard sometimes,” is all I can say.

She takes a step toward me. “Can I have a goodbye hug?”

“Of course.” I wrap my arms around her, ignoring the softness of her skin and the warmth of her body. It’s hard to let go, though. Of whatever this might have been.

“Thank you for the introduction to the tango,” Jen whispers in my ear. “I enjoyed the hell out of every single minute.” She touches her lips to my cheek gently. “Bye, Clancy.”

I loosen my embrace, but hold on to her hand, then her fingers, for as long as I can.

Chapter 15

Jen

“Did you see?” Heather asks by way of hello, when I let her into my house on Friday evening.

I don’t need to ask for clarification. I know exactly what she’s referring to—our family WhatsApp group in which Dad shared the news earlier today.