Page 81 of Managing the Major

“Allow me to call Sophy, and she’ll take you to your chamber. You’ve had an exhausting day and need rest.”

“It’s too soon to retire,” she protested. “I wish to remain here with you.”

“Your eyes are ready to close. We’ll see each other in the morning.”

“Alastair, let me stay. I’m not sure where my thoughts will turn without your company.”

A muscle tensed along his jaw, and desire flared in his hazel eyes, revealing how much he wanted to comply, but he stood firm. “My room is just at the end of the hall. If you call out, I will hear.”

Chapter Thirty-Two

Miss Merrick Makes a Decision

As tired as Octavia was, it was difficult to sleep. Her chamber was charming, the bed comfortable, but just knowing Alastair slept nearby had every nerve finely tuned to the point of discomfort. Her delicate lawn night rail felt too confining, and any position she took among the scented linen sheets soon became uncomfortable.

The silence stretched around her; she imagined Alastair in bed just down the hall. Was he in bed? Did he sleep clothed? Perhaps he turned and tossed, just as restless as she. Tonight, they had the rare opportunity to kiss and hold each other—to do whatever they wished. How could he send her away without coming to her room?

Thinking of her release that day in the stables, she wondered yet again what it would be like to touch him intimately, to experience his masculine release. She was consumed with curiosity and imagining Alastair in the throes of passion, her entire body lit up like a flame. The stars had aligned so they could be together, and this opportunity might not arise again between them. Even if things went no further than tonight, she would not die a spinster who spent a lifetime in regret.

What could he do if she went to him—tell her to leave? Not the way he had looked at her tonight. Would it be worth her reputation to be with him for this one night? Yes, and yes, and yes! She sprang out of bed and snatched her wrapper from the hook on the door. The clock on the mantel said midnight…she had only been lying awake for an hour, even though it had seemed like forever. Octavia fervently hoped he was still awake.

She padded down the silent hall in bare feet. There were no servants visible in this wing of the house; by custom, they lived elsewhere. It should be just she and Alastair.

A light shone from under the door at the end. Summoning all her nerve, she tapped softly on the door. The beating of her heart sounded loudly in her ears, and her stomach was in knots.

She heard footsteps within; the door opened, and Alastair’s tall figure filled the doorway, the halo of light behind casting him into silhouette.

“Octavia—is anything amiss?”

“I need to come inside.”

“Of course—are you ill?” He stepped aside, and Octavia crossed the threshold in two quick steps, closing the door firmly. Now that she was here, inside his room, words seemed impossible. Instead, she stood with her back to the door, breathing quickly. He looked down at her with concern, looking impossibly handsome in a loose white shirt and trousers, his dark blond hair tousled.

“Octavia—”

“Don’t send me away,” she pleaded. “Have you been able to sleep? I can do nothing but toss and turn and think of you, Alastair. Please tell me you’re awake for the same reason.”

“Yes,” he admitted reluctantly. “Nevertheless, I can’t take advantage of you tonight, Octavia; it just wouldn’t be right.”

“But I am the one making advances, Alastair. I simply cannot endure a night with you on one end of the hallway while I sleep by myself in the other. In your letter, you said that if we were alone, you would show your desire in a thousand ways. Well, we are alone. Why shouldn’t we take advantage of that?”

He turned away, raking his hands through his longish hair.

“I admit the same thoughts have kept me wide awake all evening, pacing back and forth until you knocked. But Octavia—you’ve suffered a tremendous shock today and asked for protection here in my home. How can I possibly seduce you?”

“Where do you suggest we should be together, Alastair? The stables? In a carriage somewhere? Perhaps you could climb onto a balcony at Merrick House when all are asleep.”

“Octavia, if you would just be patient, I have—”

Recklessly, her hands went to the tie of her wrapper. His breath hitched as she let it fall to the floor. Thank goodness, she thought, I had the foresight to bring a beautiful nightdress.

“Oh, God,” he muttered.

His reaction was gratifying, but he made no effort to come closer, and she almost lost her nerve until her eyes dropped to the impressive erection straining the front of his trousers.

Emboldened, she stepped closer and reached out her hand, barely touching the hard chest rising and falling under his shirt. They drifted downward, and he uttered a muffled groan as her fingers drifted farther, finally splaying over the hard ridges of his abdomen.

“I want to be with you so very much, Alastair. Don’t you feel the same?”