Page 86 of Villa of Secrets

I am in the hut, writing by the light of the oil lamp. My companions are asleep, and I am also very tired, but I want to get this into my diary before I go to bed myself.

This evening, I met Giovanni under the cinnamon tree. Perhaps all the talk about killing had unsettled me, but for the first time since Irini and I fetched Zeus from town, I was spooked. I kept looking behind me as I passed through the woods, sure someone followed; watching me.

Giovanni spread a blanket. We have made love whenever the chance arose, and my days and nights are filled with sweet longing for the shepherd boy. These feelings are in conflict with the love I feel for Irini. I’ve had no time alone with her since the day I came back from Kapitanos Nikos.

Irini never complains. Occasionally I catch the sadness in her eyes, or the way she swiftly turns away, or her sudden ending of a sentence. I sense she is biding her time, knowing her turn will come, yet I also suspect that she suffers great pain each time I skulk off into the woods to meet Giovanni.

However, earlier this evening I could not relax. I told Giovanni I suspected we were being watched. He marched around the pine trees and, when he returned, insisted we were alone. Still, I pushed him away when he attempted to undo my dress.

‘There’s someone out there; I sense it,’ I whispered and although I could not explain why, I kept thinking of Irini.

‘It’s your imagination,’ he said. ‘But if you don’t want to love me tonight, you needn’t make excuses.’ He kissed the side of my neck. ‘I’ll never ask you to do anything you don’t want, Dora.’ He gazed into my eyes and I was filled with love and longing. He stroked my back, pulling me against him, and I realised I wanted to be with him always, whatever lay ahead for us.

I whispered into his ear, ‘I’ve fallen in love with you, Giovanni Pastore. I can’t imagine life without you.’ I pressed my mouth against his.

After a minute, he brushed my hair away from my face, and lifting my chin he said, ‘I feel the same way about you, Dora. I can’t get you out of my mind. When the war is over, I want to—’

At that moment, I heard movement in the bushes and my body stiffened.

‘You were right,’ Giovanni whispered. ‘Do you have your gun with you?’

‘No. What shall we do? I’m afraid.’

‘We can pretend we didn’t notice anything and see what happens . . . or we can make a run for it.’

‘Let’s wait. Hopefully they’ll go away, then we should hurry back.’

A twig snapped, a rustle of branches, then it went quiet. We could hear ourselves breathing. He counted into my ear. On three, we abandoned the blanket, raced through the woods, and arrived at the hut scratched and panting. I slipped into the room and lit the oil lamp while Giovanni checked out back.

When he joined me, he glanced towards the bed. ‘Is everybody all right?’

I nodded. ‘Sleeping soundly.’

‘There’s a leaf in your hair.’ He plucked the stray greenery. ‘Before I forget: tomorrow you must ride to Kamiros Scala and wait near the beach for instructions. Be there by five in the evening, and remember your gun,’ he whispered.

‘I want to ask you something.’

We sat together at the low table with our backs to the bed. Giovanni took my hand. ‘What is it?’

‘Where do you think they are now? Our parents, my family?’ He didn’t answer. ‘They are still alive, aren’t they? I mean, they couldn’t . . .’ I could not say more. My pain and dread were overwhelming. Lately, when I tried to talk to Papa in my mind, it seemed he wasn’t there at all. Would I sense it, if they had died?

Papa!

‘Please tell me what you know, Giovanni. Don’t leave anything out.’

After a moment he said, ‘A man escaped from a Nazi work camp in Poland, Auschwitz. He was almost dead, starved. He told the newspapers they were killing thousands of Jews in that place, every day. But he could have been lying.’

‘Why would the Poles kill the Jews?’

‘No. It’s the Austrians and Germans who’s doin’ the killing.’

‘How? Are they shooting them?’

‘Shush. You’ll wake them.’ He nodded towards the bed.

‘If they are, I’ll go out and shoot as many Germans and Austrians as I have bullets.’

Giovanni shook his head. ‘Look, the man also said they had big rooms where the sick were taken. They changed the air and put them all to sleep.’