Page 70 of Love Me Again

I can never make up for what I’ve done, but that doesn’t mean I haven’t learned a lesson. It doesn’t mean we can’t start over, older and wiser and stronger.

I just hope you aren’t punishing yourself in the process of punishing me, because you deserve to be happy. And I’ll do everything to make you happy.

I’ll love you forever, no matter what.

His heart ached. His leg ached. And there was a little voice in his head telling him to delete the text. She’d never come back, so why was he embarrassing himself like this?

He fought that old self-defeating attitude away. It had gotten him precisely nowhere. Honesty and vulnerability had gotten him everything.

So, he hit send. Then he went down to the raucous Christmas celebration she should be at.

CHAPTER 21

Josie spent Christmas Eve and Christmas Day in a crappy motel in Billings that she couldn’t afford. She couldn’t exactly look for work on the holiday, and most stores and shops were closed, so she’d only had herself for company.

Awful.

She really thought she would have found a job by now. She’d spent the first few days on the road in Montana stopping at any vet’s office she could find asking if they were hiring. A few had let her email her resume, but she hadn’t heard anything and didn’t feel particularly hopeful.

She was going to run herself into some serious credit card debt if she wasn’t careful. So, day after Christmas, she was going to have to start applying anywhere and everywhere here in Billings. Retail. Fast food. Whatever it took. No more traveling trying to find her place. No more hope for a veterinarian position.

Just pure desperation.

But today was Christmas, and there was nothing to do but sit in the room that smelled vaguely of mold and cigarette smoke and brood.

She’d received quite a few texts in the morning. Deb, Molly, Em, Cora had all sent her individual Merry Christmas ones. Cora’s had included a picture of Micah holding the new baby.

Josie cried over it. Because she missed them and hated that she wasn’t there and then hated herself for hunting Boone down in the first place and letting herself be talked into getting to know any of them.

There was also a text message from Boone, but it sat unread in her messages because she didn’t want to know what it said.

She should have blocked his number after the first text. She knew that.

In fact, maybe that’s what she’d do this Christmas. Block him. Delete him. She wasn’t going back, and maybe Christmas was the perfect time for a fresh start.

Her phone chimed before she could actually go into the contacts and do it. The text was from an unknown number, but the preview of the text showed her name, so she opened it.

Merry Christmas, Josie. Next time you’re here, I’m going to beat you. With it was a picture of Micah playing the racing video game. Before she could reply in any way, another text came through.

This is Micah btw. I got a phone for Christmas.

She’d ignored everyone else’s text. They were adults. They could handle it. They maybe even understood. But trying to ignore Micah’s was harder.

Her finger hovered over the screen. Debating. Wanting to cry. Wanting to think Boone had put him up to this because he was an evil villain.

But mostly she was wishing she was at the Tylers and hating herself for wishing that.

She settled for a simple Merry Christmas, Micah. Then she shoved the phone across the bed. She took a shower in the mildewy shower stall, churned up just like every day since she’d left.

But she was churned up because she was still letting them in. She needed to take a page out of Boone’s book. Make a full, complete break with absolutely no contact.

But he was running away. You aren’t.

Right. So, she had to cut ties. She had to block all of them.

Determined, she stalked over to the bed and picked up her phone. She looked at the notification that was Boone’s still unread text. She knew she should delete it unread, but it was Christmas and she was sad and weak.

She didn’t read the whole thing at first. Just the part about the present. She did still have it, but she hadn’t opened it.