Page 37

Even with the teeny, tiny doctor, I couldn’t figure out all my feelings about Evie. I was twisted up, like a Rubik’s Cube. My emotions just wouldn’t line up. I was furious with her for something that hadn’t been her fault. She hadn’t had the passports; someone had just made her the patsy. But in my heart, it didn’t seem to matter, I still kept blaming her for my torture.

But at the same time, I was relieved that neither she nor Zoe had been there to take the beating. Dr. Michaels said having tangled emotions was normal. I knew it was crazy. He said he could help.

I was so afraid he couldn’t.

* * *

Chloe

Zarek being on shift for the next twenty-four-hours had me worried. It was the first time I was out of my own headspace enough to consider the fact that he was a firefighter, and he could be hurt on the job. I’d watched him get into his truck in his blue uniform, a steel mug of coffee in his hand. He was smiling. How could he be smiling when he might have to risk his life?

Instead of opening my Candy Crush app, I started looking up all kinds of statistics on the hazards for firefighters. What I read both reassured me, and scared me silly. Statistically, the number of deaths was less than fishermen in Alaska, but still when I read about all the hazards like smoke inhalation, structural collapses, and burns, it scared the crap out of me.

I knew where Station 22 was located because my doctor’s office was close to it. There were a lot of old abandoned warehouses—what happened if one of those caught fire? He would be at the mercy of the men and women he served with, and I had never taken the time to meet them. Sure, Zarek had told me a little about them, but I didn’t know if they were good people or not. Were they qualified to keep Zarek safe?

I googled fires in Dallas and immediately got chills. This time I knew my sweatshirt wouldn’t warm me. The last four alarm fire had been two weeks ago; a huge fire blazed at an old factory east of Central. Seven engine companies and four ladder companies were called and it included Station 22. It turned out that homeless people used the factory for shelter, so it was critical that firefighters go in and clear the building.

Now that I thought back, there had been a night that Zarek had been stressed and listening intently to the scanner that he had at the house that allowed him to listen into the communication going on at the scene.

Shit, there was a code to get into he scanner, and I hadn’t asked him for it before he left.

How was I going to know if he was all right? I thought back to the cupcakes that he had brought home. He said that Butterfly Bakery was operated by a sister of one of the firefighters. Maybe I could find out something if I called her.

I immediately placed a call but got an answering machine. I left a message, asking for the owner to give me a call back, explaining that I was a good friend of Zarek Post’s and I had a couple of questions for her. Hopefully this woman would be able to tell me more about what was going on at Station 22.

I got up from my favorite chair and started to pace. Slayer, who had been lying on the floor beside me in the office, got up and walked at my side. I saw that his water dish was empty and I filled it.

“Your master is going to be all right. This is what he does for a living, right, boy?”

When he woofed, I took that as agreement.

Dammit, why wasn’t the woman calling me back? If she was running a business, shouldn’t she call potential clients back in a timely manner?

My mind whirled. I needed help. I needed comfort. The one person I had turned to when I had been hurting as a child, the one person who had been my surrogate mother was Trenda. I needed Trenda. But she was still mad at me.

I let out a watery laugh. “Fuck it all.” How many times had I been mad at Trenda for trying to be the boss of the Western Hemisphere? That was who she was. She wouldn’t be my big sister otherwise. I needed her.

I punched in Trenda’s number.

“Merciful Heaven. Chloe, Baby, I’m so sorry. I love you so much. Please forgive me. You’re perfect the way you are. What do you need? I’ll be right there.”

And that was why I loved my sister—unconditional love and unconditional support.

“Can you not tell anyone I called. I still don’t want to deal with the Avery Avalanche.”

There was a long pause. Secrets and Trenda didn’t usually mesh.

“Please, Sis. I still need space.”

“All right. I’m here for you, whatever you need. I promise to keep my mouth shut. Now, how can I help you?”

“I’m scared.”

“We can get through this. Just tell me what’s scaring you. Are you in a safe place? Should you call 9-1-1?”

I gave a weak laugh. “I’m physically fine. I’m in Zarek’s house. I’m actually seeing a shrink and on some meds. I hate admitting it, but they’re helping. I fucking hate taking a pill!” Slayer whined at my outburst.

“Hey, you need to be gentle and kind to my baby sister. They have that medicine for a reason, and if it’s helping you, I thank God for it. Oh my God, it is so good to hear your voice.” I heard Trenda sniffle.