Damn, she was going to lose it. Her mother was so kind and good. She didn’t deserve this life.
“Why are you crying, Aliana? Where’s your father? Tell him to come here.”
These were the worst moments when her mother asked for her dead husband. “You rest, Mama, I’ll go get him. Okay?”
Experience told her that these moments of lucidity wouldn’t last long, and when she woke up, she wouldn’t remember their conversation. It was best just to pacify her. It was good that her mom remembered the Lazlo Novak from their younger years together, and not like he was when Aliana was a teenager. Back then he hadn’t been exactly happy, but he’d had dreams. He had his poetry. He hadn’t crashed over the cliff into true bitterness yet.
“Thank you, Baby. I don’t like sleeping alone.”
Aliana choked back a sob, for her mother and herself. She hated thinking of the way her father had left them. She hated the confusion and the pain he caused with his suicide. Mostly, she was dead tired from the sorrow his last words had brought to her life.
“He’s coming,” she lied to her mother. “Can I sing to you until he arrives?”
“That would be wonderful. Get the guitar.”
Aliana knew that when the dark mire of ugly memories poured over her, music was a savior for her. Music had always been important in their house growing up, so there were many lullabies for her to choose from. Her mother had often played her guitar while either she or her grandmother had sung to her. She pulled the guitar out of the cupboard. She had bought it for times just like these. She knew it was in tune because she had played last week.
“What song would you like, Mama?”
“One of yours.”
It took Aliana a moment to think of one she felt like singing. She had to settle her mind. Finally, she thought of the perfect one, something to celebrate life. She had written it six years ago when her mother had first moved in with her. She knew her mother’s mind was starting to go, so she wanted to honor her and the caring woman she had been while raising Aliana. She called it simply, Danica.
My Mother raised me up
Shouldering my burdens
Wiping My Tears
My Mother Loved Me
So, I Stand Strong Today
Danica’s Love Blessed Me
She Raised Me Up High
Danica’s Love Is Clear to See
It Lifts Up To the Sky
Her Arms Gave Comfort
Into them, I ran
Always she provided solace
My Mother Loved Me
So, I Stand Strong Today
Danica’s Love Blessed Me
She Raised Me Up High
Danica’s Love Is Clear to See
It Lifts Up To the Sky