Page 94 of Baby for the Bratva King

My father pretends to care. Those hard lines between his brow are fake. He’s not frowning. He’s smiling on the inside.

And I’m about to fall, for several different reasons.

“Saskia.” Felix’s voice is low and controlled. “What’s this about?”

I open my mouth, ready to say something, but think better of it and go back to being mute. I’m comfortable being in denial for a while longer, but the world never waits until you’re ready.

“Please spare us a few minutes while we set this up,” says the journalist.

The newscast breaks, an ad appearing on screen.

“I need to pee,” I say in a hurry, lifting from the couch,

“Saskia.” Felix’s voice is louder this time, oozing authority. “What is he talking about?”

“I… don’t know.”

“You’re pregnant?”

I turn around in the doorway, stiff as anything. Tears stream down my face—the only thing moving on my body.

What the fuck am I supposed to stay? I’m still processing the news myself, and my father has taken this secret away from me.

“How would my father even have access to CCTV in the coffee shop?”

Felix’s face turns hard, cheekbones cinched as he sucks on his lip. “So, it’s true.”

After constantly living with an end goal in mind, chasing the receding tide, I have enjoyed being present. Felix has shown me how to live in the moment, how to incorporate dance into everyday life and focus on the journey. But journeys end. They spit you out into the unknown.

And I am way out of my depth. I don’t know how to navigate parenthood, how to be in a relationship, or even promise the rest of my life to someone.

Felix is in the mafia, and I don’t want the father of my child to be a murderer.

“I… only found out a few hours ago.” My head hurts from all this crying. I wipe tears from my eyes, my vision distorted. Felix becomes a watery figure perched on the edge of the couch. Remove his handsome face, and I’m left with a very terrifying man who could kill me with his pinkie finger if he really wanted to.

He rises from the couch and the space around me turns dark.

I fucked up. I waited too late to take the emergency contraception, and now a huge mistake is growing in my belly.

“Saskia,” says Felix, softly, using his knuckle to catch my tears. “Sweetheart, why are you crying?”

“We’re not good people.”

“You are.”

“How?” I scoff. “I want to be loved so desperately that I’m willing to destroy things in the process.”

“I won’t let that happen,” says Felix.

“But it’s the principle. You came home with blood on your shirt. You told me who you really are, and I decide to stay because you make me feel less alone. How fucked is that?”

“We’re all fucked.”

“I had too much fun. I wasn’t thinking about the consequences.”

Felix tightens his jaw, stepping out into the room and sighing. He agrees.

The interview resumes after the ads, our attention brought back to the screen. We stand in front of the TV, too tense to sit down.