Page 98 of Risky Play

I ate my dinner in silence as I thought about what to say to Maddie. I needed her to understand why we had to quit this charade. Noah and Dinah coming home early was the sign I needed. One day, we were going to get caught in the act. It would be so much better if we told Noah on our own terms.

I finished eating and set my plate in the sink. Then I ordered a car and made my way over to Franklin.

The car took longer than I wanted, probably because it was a holiday. Once I got to campus, it was like a ghost town. I texted Maddie I was here, and she came down to let me in, but she didn’t look happy to see me.

She scanned us into her building, and we rode the elevator in an uncomfortable silence. Once inside her room, she sat on the bed, playing with a thread on her sweater.

I took a deep breath. We both knew this was the big fight we had been dreading. “I don’t like what happened today.”

She dipped her head down, staring intently at the floor.

“I can’t keep on doing this.”

Her head snapped up, and her eyes were cloudy. “What?”

“I can’t keep sneaking around with you.”

“But my brother⁠—”

“What about him?” I snapped. “Does he control you?”

“No.”

“Then why can’t we tell him?”

I paced her bedroom floor. I didn’t understand her logic. Noah would get over me breaking the code. He had to.

“Matt, you don’t understand.”

“What don’t I understand? Because I love you, and I hate the fact that I don’t get to tell anyone that. We can pretend everything’s fine here on campus because we think Noah will never see us together. But what happens one day when he shows up out of the blue? What happens then? What are we supposed to do? Continue to pretend we aren’t dating until he’s on his deathbed? When does it end, Maddie?” I ranted.

She stared back at me, her mouth agape, but she wasn’t saying anything.

“I can’t keep doing this. Do you know how much the guilt is weighing me down? I just had a conversation with Dinah where she was trying to console me, but I couldn’t tell her the reason my ‘girlfriend’ literally ran away was because that girl is her very off-limits sister-in-law.”

“Matt…”

I held up a hand. “No. I need you to hear me. I love you, Madison. God, I fucking love you, and I know it’s too fucking early to drop that on you, but that’s why I can’t keep doing this. I can’t lie to your brother. Do you understand how hard that is for me?”

She continued to stare at me, her eyes big and doe-eyed. “You…you love…me?”

I breathed in as the weight of all the words I spat out fell back on me. She looked terrified. Had I misjudged everything? Did she not feel the same way? Was that why she resisted telling her brother? Because I was just her guy for a good time, not a long time?

“If you can’t be an adult and tell your brother we’re together, then maybe you don’t feel the same way.”

“Matt…that’s not it. I…you… It’s complicated.”

I glared at her. She was stumbling over her words, but inside, my heart was aching. If she felt the same way, she would agree to tell her brother about us.

“Matt, it’s not that simple.”

“Yes, it is. You know what?”

“Can you please listen to me?” she asked.

“No, I’ve listened to your excuses enough. I’m done.”

“You what?”