Page 67 of The Chase

“Think about it for real this time, okay, baby?” he pleaded.

“Okay,” I whispered, relenting. I still didn’t want to go, but when I looked at this man who loved me and only wanted the best for me, something inside me nagged at me to listen. “I promise I’ll really think about it.”

“That’s all I ask,” he whispered, and he leaned up to kiss me again. “Love you, but I have an early practice, so let’s get back to bed, okay?”

“I’m sorry.”

“S’okay.”

No. It was not, but he wasn’t going to admit it. The fact he wanted so badly for me to get better made me want to think about if therapy was a good idea. Keiana had been nagging me about it for a while, but I kept pushing her off. Maybe they both had a point.

I got off of TJ’s lap and laid on my side instead while I mulled it over.

TJ pulled me tight against his chest and pulled the covers over us.

“It really helped you?” I asked.

“Yeah. Helped me get out of my head when I first got drafted.”

I nodded and relaxed into his hold, letting myself really think about it. If it helped TJ, maybe he was right, and it could help me. But when his breathing got steady beside me, and he drifted off to sleep, panic coursed through me. I wasn’t sure I’d ever be better. I didn’t think telling some stranger all my problems would make all these feelings go away.

CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE

TJ

I woke up to Maxine’s head on my chest as she curled her tiny body against mine. It was the best way to wake up, but unfortunately, I had to get to practice. I’d rather stay in bed all day long and cuddle with the girl I loved.

I frowned when I remembered the events of last night and why I told her I loved her. She had been so ready to take off and leave because she thought she was a burden, and I didn’t like that.

My phone beeped on the bedside table, and I shifted her off me so I could turn it off. She stirred but didn’t wake, which was good because she needed to sleep.

I kissed the top of her head while I rolled out of my bed and got dressed.

“Don’t leave!” she whined sleepily. She slid one eye open as she watched me get dressed.

I smiled at her. “Sorry, baby. I have practice.”

“I know. You have to stop taking too many penalties.”

I laughed. “Sometimes I forget how much of a hardcore hockey fan you are.”

“Sorry. I don’t mean to be a nag. I’m sure you’ll hear it during practice.”

I kneeled on the bed and kissed her. “True, but I like listening to you more. Plus, you’re cuter than Coach.”

A blush crept up her pale face, and then she frowned. “I’m sorry about last night.”

“I know, baby girl. I just want you to get better. I don’t want to push you, but…seeing you that way breaks my heart. I don’t know how to help you.”

She scrubbed a hand down her face. “I hate making you feel that way. I’m sorry.”

I kissed her forehead. “Don’t break up with me again, okay?”

She nodded and hugged me tightly.

I wanted to ask her again if she was going to go to therapy, but I didn’t want to push her. She promised she’d think about it, but I wasn’t sure she actually would. I was afraid if I pushed more, she’d try to break up with me again. When she tried that last night, all my memories of why I didn’t deserve her came crashing back over me. Like Natalie was in my head again, telling me I’d never be enough.

I kissed her goodbye but lingered on her lips.