Page 51 of The Chase

“Max, are you there?” Rox asked.

“Y-yy-yes,” I stammered back at her.

“Oh, Maxine. Are you having a panic attack? Are you okay?”

I never wanted to tell Rox what happened to me, but when I had a panic attack over a big meeting with Quinn, Rox’s boss, she pulled me into her office and made me tell her everything. Roxanne Desjardins was a loud-mouth, feisty woman, but she also fought for the people she loved. When she let me blubber on her shoulder, I knew I could trust her.

“No, I’m not fucking okay,” I finally admitted in a small voice.

Rox was silent for a moment. “I don’t think I’ve ever heard you say ‘fuck’ before.”

I ran a hand down my face, still feeling the effects of my anxiety-induced panic attack, but talking with Rox was helping. “It comes out sometimes. I save those for a rainy day.”

“Okay, so safe to say you need this mental health day?”

“Yes. I’m sorry.”

“Don’t apologize. Listen, have you talked to my brother?”

“No.”

“I told him to give you space.”

Oh.

That’s why he hadn’t contacted me. I didn’t want space. I wanted TJ to be here with me, and I wanted to feel his arms around me and hear him call me his ‘baby girl.’ But I had messed everything up by letting my fears about my late boyfriend and my trauma invade my life.

“I pushed him away,” I said.

“I know, but it’s gonna be okay.”

“He’s not even my boyfriend. We’ve only gone on a couple dates.”

She sighed. “Oh my God, he so is and you know it! Call my brother already and make him come over there and cuddle you, okay? He’s been mopey since you kicked him out and playing like shit.”

“What?”

“Call my brother!”

Then she hung up on me.

I stared back at my phone as the call disconnected. Then I pulled up the text chain with TJ again. I typed and deleted and then typed and deleted until I got out one word.

ME: Hi.

He wrote back seconds later.

TJ: Hey, baby girl.

I bit my lip. I heard his voice in my head calling me that and giving me his sexy, lopsided grin. I loved his naughty smile, like he was always up to no good. Which he usually was. TJ was loud and in your face while I was meek like a mouse. We were complete opposites, but I loved that about us.

ME: I’m sorry about the other night.

TJ: It’s okay.

ME: It’s not!

TJ: No…but I was worried about you. Still am.