Page 11 of Lunar Blackout

“You said it as it happened yes, I don’t deny that, but I’m asking what you think you saw, cause quite frankly, to me, it feels like you’re accusing me of fucking Justin after asking you out?!”

“I know for a fact you did.”

“That’s not what you saw.”

“Yes it is.”

“It isn’t.”

“Justin admitted it!” I finally blurt out, tears blurring my vision, and my eyes sting as I refuse to let them fall. Winston doesn’t respond, he stares at me in disbelief and shock. His eyes look hurt, but I can’t let that distract me now, if I don’t word-vomit my feelings on him right now I never will.

“You walked off ahead of him to the locker rooms, I went to leave but the door creaked and Justin saw me. He smirked, walked over to me, and I asked him if what my overthinking brain was assuming was the case. He said yes, and dropped his towel to prove he was naked. He admitted it.”

I tilt my head up to the ceiling, trying to stop the tears but fail. The floodgates are open, but my sobs are silent. I’m not crying for comfort, I’m crying because I’ve been holding in this pain for ten long years. The pain of going from the thrill of what could-have-been, ruined by Winston breaking all of the trust that I put in him.

Winston’s face turns bright red, a vein is visible in his forehead, and his eyes look like they are out for blood. Despite this, he rises from his seat, stomps to the kitchen, and retrieves me a tissue to wipe my eyes.

“Iolo,” he says, his voice rough with pain. I can’t look at him, but he says my name again and tilts my face directly to look into his eyes as he crouches down in front of me. I still see murder in them, but also the look of heartbreak. “I promise you, that didn’t happen.”

“It did, I did ask Justin and—” Winston’s look softens now

“No, sorry, I don’t mean what you experienced didn’t happen, I believe every word you just said, and actually it makes some things make way more sense than they did. I promise you, I didn’t sleep with Justin.” He brushes his thumb over my cheekbone, removing a tear as he does so. “I did go to see Justin after our kiss. We’d already planned to meet for a coffee. I told him that I asked you out, and about that amazing kiss. He seemed uncomfortable, but I assumed that was me over-reading, he’s pansexual for Christ’s sake, he isn’t going to care about me being infatuated with a man. We both went to the gym after, and yes we went in the sauna, naked, cause Christ, have you ever gone in there in clothes, it is uncomfortable. But we didn’t fuck.”

I want to believe him, I really do. “But Justin said—”

“Firstly, in regard to what he said when you overheard him talking to me, Justin was having an affair with Marina Walters’ son.” Marina was the director of the UBNSA at the time. “He was using it to secretly boost his chances at promotion from the Scottish Space Agency to the UBNSA as a technical designer. That’s what he was saying I couldn’t tell a soul about.”

I sniff as I try to compose myself. The look on his face is determined, angry, sad, and isn’t that of a liar. My brain is still clinging onto what I believed to be true for the last ten years, but the emotion in his eyes staring directly into my soul is telling me his words are true, but that can’t be the case, can it? Ten years of what I believed to be facts are unravelling before my eyes, I don’t know what to believe, but is it wrong that I want to believe him?

Winston’s look has softened considerably, he leans closer and places his hand on my thigh. “And about what he said to you, I’ve no real idea why he did that, but what I do know is after I told him you’d rejected me, he kept suggesting he and I should get together, since he would be moving to England if he got the promotion he was trying to secure.”

“And did you?” I can’t help but ask even though I know I shouldn’t. But Winston doesn’t look annoyed or hurt, he looks drained.

“Have you ever wanted to date someone else when the man of your dreams rejects you?”

“I haven’t even kissed anyone else since then.” I smile at him for the first time since I entered this room.

“I’m sorry, what?” I can’t tell if the look on his face is one of shock, or happiness that he was the last person who kissed me. “Sure I didn’t get with Justin and had a dry spell for a few months cause I was still getting over the whiplash of dating we had, which lasted what? Two hours? But you’ve kissed no one in ten years?!”

Yeah, he definitely likes the idea of that. “I know you’re saying what I thought to be true wasn’t, but you broke my heart Winston, and I decided that no man would ever have a hold over me again. So I—”

“Became a nun.” Winston interrupts. I chuckle slightly. My tears are gone and I feel so much lighter now we’ve talked this through. This went far better than I could have imagined. I trust Winston, he clearly isn’t lying, and I can’t believe I wasted ten years that could have been spent exploring that chiselled body. “I’m going to murder Justin.”

“Me too,” I say softly, cautiously moving my hand to place it on top of Winston’s, which remains on my thigh. He pulls away, but before I can overthink the move, I realise he is just turning his hand so it’s palm up, and I link our fingers together.

EIGHT

WINSTON

I should be nervous about the launch, about being on top of an explosion creating almost nine million pounds of thrust, propelling me into the most hostile environment, or more accurately lack of environment, known to man. Instead, the thing making me nervous as I get strapped into my flight suit is Iolo ap Gruff.

Last night we resolved our rift, a miscommunication of EPIC proportions caused by the man I once considered my best friend. Nothing happened after we talked last night, we held hands on my sofa, and then Iolo excused himself to get ready for today, but God do I wish more had happened.

My communicator buzzes on the side table, and one of the assistants who is helping strap me into the protective suit passes it to me. It’s a text from Justin.

I called him last night as soon as Iolo left my quarters. I couldn’t let what he did slide. I can forgive him trying to selfishly sabotage my happiness—okay maybe I can’t—but what I really cannot forgive is the fact that he hurt Iolo so much. Leading someone on is one thing, but actively telling them their worst fears are true to stop someone from being happy, it really doesn’t sit right with me.

JUSTIN: Look man, it was ten years ago. You two need to just get over it, kiss and make up or whatever, but don’t have a go at me and blame me for the pettiness that’s gone on between you.