Page 125 of UNAwere

I’m trying to figure out the logistics of punching someone in the face with a phone when the tap comes again, right in front of me. I jump and reef the blinds aside. It’s dark out, and all I see is my reflection, the lamp on the bedside table shining behind me. But then something moves within the space I’m standing, and I see a familiar face appear over the top of mine.

Jude.

I open the door, and I don’t even wait to hear what he has to say. I fling myself at him, closing my eyes against his smell, his heat, him.

He buries his face into my hair, letting out a soft grunt that tells me he’s as relieved as I am. And he’s soaking wet, but I don’t care. He’s here, and I can touch him, hold him, tell him everything I’ve been thinking.

‘Jude, what’s going on? I’ve been so worried. Are you okay? I’m so sorry about Warner. He’s been a bit loopy since he came back. I think he knows about us, and I’m so sorry, you should have had another shower, he could smell me on you, and I shouldn’t have marked you. I’m so stupid, I’m so sorry, are you okay?’

‘Hey, sweetheart.’ He kisses my cheek, running his nose along my mine. ‘I’m fine. You didn’t do anything wrong, okay?’

‘Are you sure? Because Warner was acting like a complete jerk. And then he asked you to stay back, and I was worried he was going to punish you for standing up at dinner and telling that Were you were going to put them in a body bag and you’re soaked,’ I say, and I’m crying again.

His short burst of laughter brushes against my jaw as he kisses me there. And I’m only just now noticing how his hands haven’t stopped mapping my body, smoothing over my back, my hips, up under my shirt, across the hem of my panties and over my backside. I sigh against him, leaning close, moving my hands over his strong shoulders so I can start to do the same.

‘I can’t stay,’ he murmurs against my skin. ‘Hannah’s waiting for me.’

‘Where are you going?’ I ask, my voice tight.

‘She wants me to live with her.’

‘And you’re going to?’

‘No.’ He brushes his mouth across my ear. ‘I’m staying here, Red.’

I pull away slightly so I can see his face, my brow buckling. ‘Really?’

‘Yeah.’ He presses his forehead against mine. ‘There’s no fucking force in this world that’ll keep me away from you, Sybbie. None.’

‘But the bonding?’

‘You told me you wanted me,’ he whispers, his words falling across my lips.

I nod, tilting my face up to his so I can feel his mouth there instead. ‘In a perfect world…’

‘That’s enough for me, sweetheart,’ he says, his lips bumping mine as he speaks. ‘I’m going to be here. Every day. In reach. And if you need me, you just call.’

‘But the bonding?’ I ask again, tears slipping into my hair.

‘Hey,’ he says gently, wiping them with his thumbs. He gathers my face in his hands, fingers in my hair. ‘Hey, my sweet girl.’ He kisses me softly. ‘Do you trust me?’

‘Yes. Of course.’ I kiss him back, sighing against the pressure of his lips. ‘I’m so sorry Warner kissed me in front of you.’

‘You’ve done nothing wrong, Sybbie,’ he says, shaking his head. ‘And there’ll be a day I’ll have kissed you enough that all you’ll remember is my mouth on yours. No one else’s. The way it’s meant to be. Okay?’

I smile. ‘That sounds like a pipe dream.’

‘I’ll make it our reality.’

‘I love you.’ The words come out as a sob, and I don’t even know if he understands what I say.

But the tilt in his head tells me he does. The soft closing of his eyes. He kisses my chin. My jaw. Presses his nose into my hair and inhales.

‘I love you, too.’

And then he’s gone.

Ihardly sleep.