Page 114 of UNAwere

He shrugs. ‘Funny feeling.’

‘I love them.’ I’m still backing towards the door. Relishing the way his eyes haven’t left me. The backs of my legs hit the wood. ‘But you didn’t have to give that to me. It’s way more than one-hundred dollars, you know?’

‘I’d give you everything, Sybbie,’ he says, just as I’m closing the door.

Ihardly sleep.

My body is thrumming from what just happened, the ghost of Jude’s touch on my skin. I lay in my bed, surrounded by his scent, and close my eyes against the tears.

I’m so torn.

I don’t understand any of this, and yet it feels like everything with Jude makes sense. I should face it – I want to face it – but I know I can’t. Not when everyone is relying on me. Not when Warner would kill Jude if he found out.

I sigh, roll onto my side, and lower my head against the crook of my shoulder. Jude smells strongest there, and I breathe him in deeply.

Hannah sees me in the foyer in the morning.

Her eyes widen, and she shakes her head, pointing a finger back to where I came.

‘Get in the shower.’

‘What?’ I frown. ‘I’ve already showered.’

‘Not enough,’ she says. ‘Go!’

I run back down the hall and to my room, heart racing. It’s evident she could smell Jude on me, but I thought I’d gotten his scent off. I scrub and scrub, pouring as much soap over my skin as it can take.

Again, it feels so wrong to be washing him off.

And his smell is so familiar now, I can hardly tell the difference between his and mine.

I change into different clothes and spray several pumps of perfume over myself.

‘What were you thinking?!’

‘She’s my mate, Hans. What the fuck was I supposed to do? I can’t control that part of myself.’

‘Look, I get that you were extremely unfortunate to have to spend over two weeks in a car with your mate and not do anything about it, but don’t you understand how big of a mistake this is? If Warner finds out, he’ll kill you.’

‘I know.’

I’ve stopped in the hall, pressed against the wall. As soon as I hear Jude’s voice, my heart leaps, my mood completely lifting. It’s been only a few hours since I saw him, since he was inside me, and yet it feels like longer.

‘I’m so sorry, Jude,’ Hannah says through a breath. ‘I’m so sorry.’

‘Is Sybbie okay?’

‘She’s fine. I told her to go shower again because she reeked of you.’ She sighs. ‘You’re such an idiot, little brother.’

‘For the first time in my life, I felt whole…’ Jude clears his throat. ‘What she gave me… I don’t think she realises how much it means.’

‘Oh, shit.’

‘You can’t tell anyone.’

‘You’re going to have to wear turtlenecks for the rest of your life.’

‘I don’t care.’