Page 112 of UNAwere

‘What did you say?’ I ask.

His cock pulses inside me, and I can feel his breath on my gland. I bite back a moan, feeling my pussy clench, and squeeze my eyes closed.

‘You okay?’ he asks.

‘What did you say just now?’

He sighs. ‘Sybbie, I can explain.’

I pull out from under him, ignoring the primal part of me that argues. I get up off the bed and find my discarded shirt, holding it against me. Jude’s sitting on the edge of the bed, his hands extended towards me. They’re shaking.

‘Sybbie…’

‘What did you say?’ I whisper.

He blinks. He looks so hurt that I immediately want to climb back into his arms. The space between my legs is pulsing, and I’m still driven by my need for this man, but that one word he whispered against the skin of my gland is enough for me to snap out of it.

‘Did you say mate?’ I ask when he still doesn’t answer.

He nods, jaw tensed.

‘They don’t exist.’ Even when I say the words out loud, there’s something within me that revolts against them, but I ignore it. I’ve spent my entire life being taught this. Mates are purely a fantasy, something in fairytales.

‘They do, Red,’ Jude murmurs. He’s staring at me, completely broken. ‘And it’s the reason your heat cycles started as soon as you met me. Don’t you… feel it?’

‘Well, yeah, but…’ I let out a breath. It makes so much sense. All the weird stuff that happened between us. All the feelings and urges that seemed to come out of nowhere, my body taking control.

‘It’s why you submitted to me,’ he continues. ‘And why I submitted to you.’

That also makes sense.

‘But what about the alliance?’ I ask.

He nods once, his eyes lowering to the ground.

‘I-I’m doing this for Maeve. Nolan. My people.’

‘I know,’ he murmurs. ‘And I admire you for it.’

‘This can’t happen,’ I say quietly.

He nods once, again.

‘I… Will you be okay? If I go through with this?’ I care about him. More than anything. And I do want him to be alright.

‘I won’t take another partner,’ he says. ‘Not when I know you exist. And especially not when I almost had you.’ He gives me a sad smile. ‘You don’t have to be mine, Sybbie. But I will always be yours.’

I swallow thickly. ‘I’m sorry.’

He sighs and stands, drawing me into his arms. I cling to him, pressing my face against his chest and breathing deep.

‘Don’t apologise for doing what you think is right, Red,’ he says softly. ‘You’re so fucking strong.’ He kisses my temple, his beard scraping my skin. And everything within me is screaming to kiss him again. To crawl back into his bed with him and exist. Explore. Discover.

I let out a shuddering breath and take a step out of his arms before I do just that.

‘I have to do this for Luminaire,’ I say, throat tight.

He nods again. ‘I know, sweetheart. And I’ll never judge you for that.’