Page 93 of Specter Bred

That gave me pause. A crooked grin tugged at his mouth.

"Just because she's tough, it still wouldn’t stop me from jumping on a grenade for her."

Then, quieter—

"All I’m saying is... if you care about her the way I think you do… If you want her the way I know you do…"

His smile faded.

"Why’d you shove her straight into my arms?"

"Archer is my recruit," I said flatly. "I care about her the same way I care about every soldier under my command."

Hayes gave me a look that said he didn’t buy that for a second.

"I push her because what comes next will break her if she isn’t ready. Specter Phase Two isn’t Fairfield. In the field, nobody gives a damn if you’re tired, lonely, scared, or overwhelmed. You adapt or you die."

"Maeve needed to learn that." I continued, convincing myself that I had done everything right, even though I knew I hadn't.

Hayes nodded slowly.

"And maybe she did," he said. "But she needed something else, too."

"And what’s that?"

He shifted in his chair.

"An instructor," Hayes said carefully, "and a unit leader who believes in her."

I stilled.

"When the person you respect the most keeps telling you that you’re not enough... after a while, you believe it." Then he said more quietly, "And when that happens, you stop respecting yourself too.”

I stared at him.

Hayes rubbed a hand over his jaw.

"Maeve doesn't respect me," I said with a snort.

He shook his head.

"No, she idolizes you." His eyes lifted to mine. "If you don’t see that, you’re as blind as she is."

My eyes narrowed in disbelief, but Hayes rushed on before I could cut him off.

"She told me the only unit she wants to be in is yours."

That caught me off guard and hit harder than it should have.

"Even after everything," he said. "Even after you stripped away her control... I’m just trying to give some of it back."

Silence stretched. I studied him, weighing the validity of his words. Then I pushed off the desk again and stalked closer until I was standing over him.

"And exactly how do you give her control back?"

Hayes blinked.

"I... uh... I just told you, sir."