Page 58 of Keeping Knight

Ruby stares at me. She looks so small and vulnerable, it makes my heart hurt. “I think… I couldn’t sleep. So I went to the TV room. I didn’t want to disturb you.”

“It’s okay.” I take her hand in mine. “What happened then?”

Her face scrunches up. “I just turned on the TV. Then I went to one of the streaming channels; I can’t remember which one. Whatever we were watching last night. And a movie started playing. I think it was—” She shivers. “I don’t know the movie. But a man was attacking this woman, and then… I got scared. I thought he was back. The man in my apartment. He was choking me. I couldn’t breathe. I don’t remember anything after that.”

Shit. A damn movie triggered Ruby into a flashback. I’ve tried to be so careful, always choosing shows and movies that aren’t violent. But if she came out to watch one on her own, and with the stupid auto-play feature that a lot of these streaming services have…

“It’s alright.” I pull Ruby into my arms. “It happens. I’m just glad you’re okay.”

She looks around the closet again. For a utility closet, it’s pretty nice, honestly. Everything is clean. Organized. But for a place to come out of a nasty flashback? It’s not ideal.

Standing, I lift Ruby against my chest, one arm under her legs and the other behind her back. She yelps and clutches my neck. “Micah. What are you doing?”

“Bringing you home,” I say. Then I leave the closet and start heading back down the hallway. Sampson sniffs Ruby’s foot and gives it a little lick. She glances down at him and asks, “Why is Sampson here?”

“He helped me find you,” I reply. “He caught your scent and led me to you right away.”

“Oh.” Ruby buries her face in my neck. “I’m so sorry. I woke everyone up, and I made this scene, and… I’m so embarrassed.”

“Shh.” I kiss the top of her head. “There’s nothing to be embarrassed about.”

Once we get back into the condo, I lock the door securely behind us. Then I bring Ruby over to the couch and set her down. “Guard,” I tell Sampson. To Ruby, I explain, “I just want to do a quick check of the condo. So we know it’s absolutely safe.”

I’m sure it’s fine. But with my adrenaline still thrumming and my pulse not yet back to normal, I’d rather err on the side of caution. So I do a quick sweep of the condo to be sure it’s clear, then head back to Ruby.

She’s still where I left her, with Sampson stationed close by. Her hand rests on his back, like she’s drawing comfort from him.

Sinking down on the couch beside her, I put my arm around Ruby’s shoulder and hug her close. “Hey,” I say gently. “How are you doing?”

Ruby pulls her lip between her teeth. She sighs. “I feel stupid. Weak.”

“What? Why?”

“I don’t know. I should have been prepared for something like this. Done something to prevent it.”

“Rue. You had a flashback. It happens. It sucks. But it happens. There’s nothing to feel stupid about.”

“I guess. Maybe embarrassed is more accurate. I mean… I ran out of the condo, hid in the utility closet, worried you…”

“Yes, I was worried. But that’s nothing to be embarrassed about.”

“Hiding in the closet?” Ruby’s brows arch up. “That’s kind of embarrassing.”

“It’s not,” I insist. “I know plenty of people who’ve dealt with PTSD. People I served with, and people who’ve been through things similar to you. Really, I should be sorry. I should have expected something like this. Been better prepared.”

“But you shouldn’t have.” Ruby lifts her chin. A spark of challenge lights in her gaze. “It’s my responsibility. I don’t want you to feel like you always have to take care of me. I want to be able to take care of myself.”

But I want to take care of her. I want to protect Ruby from anything and everything that might hurt her.

“I like taking care of you,” I reply. “I don’t do it because I feel like I have to.”

“What if I want to take care of you sometimes?” she retorts. “I want to do that, too. I don’t want to be this weak woman who has to always be protected.”

“Ruby.” I frown at her. “You are not weak. At all. What you’ve been through, and in such a short time? It would bring anyone to their knees. But you push through it. You don’t complain. You’re an amazing person, and so much stronger than you give yourself credit for.”

“Until I cry all over you two days in a row.”

“I think you had a pretty good reason for that. And even if you didn’t, it would be okay. I’m not interested in only being with you during the good times. I want to be with you all the time. Good or bad. And,” I add, “there are things we can do to help. I should have brought them up before, but…”