Page 81

“What you mean?”

“I’m saying, you don’t want to call your cousin and confront her?” I really felt like there was a strong possibility that she’d already done that but I didn’t want to accuse her of anything. I was trying to give her the floor to be honest and open with me before I gave my opinion on the matter.

“Confront her for what? I know the shit is true because my Granny told me everything.”

“How did she find out?”

“Let me tell you how everything played out…”

For the next few minutes she laid out everything dating back to the night we met. That was the first time she recalled Nalyssa acting weird whenever Kenny’s name came up. I didn’t care to hear all that shit, but I listened to everything and by time she was finished I agreed there was nothing to confront her cousin about. Nalyssa had snaked her and she definitely wasn’t going to be sorry about it, so a conversation was a waste of time.

“So yea,” she sighed after she finished the story. “I would say I’m washing my hands with that bitch, but I’ve already done that. She ain’t no cousin of mine.”

“You ain’t tryna fight about it, are you?”

“If I don’t want to fuss with the bitch then what makes you think I’m tryna fight?” She laughed. “My Auntie is already keeping her distance because she’s ashamed and thinks she can’t come around because her daughter betrayed me. I’m not going to make it worse and put my hands on that girl.”

“I feel you,” I nodded, deciding to believe her. “So what if Lyss and Kenny become exclusive…. or what if he just starts coming to family functions on the strength of him being Kash’s father?”

“Well if it’s an event Nalyssa is throwing then I can’t control that nor would I attend in the first place, so it wouldn’t bother me.”

“That’s not what I’m referring to. I’m talking bout if your grandma hosts a holiday at her house or has a birthday party. I’m sure she not finna cut Nalyssa off over this no matter how she disapproves.”

“And she doesn’t have to. I’m not asking or expecting the whole family to turn their back on her because she crossed me. But anybody would be a fool not to watch that hoe because she’s clearly a snake. I’m already knowing I can’t avoid seeing her though. Now as for her showing up anywhere with Kenny…that’s going to be weird. I don’t know how I’d react if I’m being honest. When it comes to my grandma I do expect her to put her foot down and not allow that foolishness in her house. But all I can do is wait and see.”

“So you planning on cutting up if Kenny is by Nalyssa’s side at a family event? You don’t think that’ll look crazy?”

“I knew all of those questions were leading up to something,” she sighed. “Armias, I am not tripping about Kenny whatsoever. I feel nothing for or towards that man. But put yourself in my shoes. Imagine you were with someone for years, you had strong feelings for them at some point, and then your blood cousin who you’re like brothers with makes that chick his bm. Not just that, but he started fucking with her while you were still with her.”

“Man, if I don’t feel nothing towards the bitch then you couldn’t pay to pull no type of reaction out of me,” I snapped.

“And I didn’t react,” she snapped back. “My Mama and Granny were surprised by how well I took the news. Granny was expecting me to jump up and go fight Lyss. She also thought I’d be mad at her for keeping it to herself since Christmas, but I wasn’t.”

“Yet you had to drink.”

“Because that shit took me by surprise! I wasn’t expecting to hear it! And just because I don’t give a fuck about Kenny doesn’t mean I’m unaffected by this entirely. My family will never be the same. My cousin who I grew up with like a sister crossed me in a way I never expected. That’s what I meant when I said put yourself in my shoes. Even if you were over a bitch, you can’t sit up here and tell me that you would be unbothered by your cousin's actions. Or that you would want to see your cousin with your lowdown, dirty ex at family functions. If you can, then congratulations on having a heart of ice, but I don’t.”

I was silent for a few seconds because she wasn’t completely wrong. In fact, she was right. I had a million cousins and I was close to a lot of them. The Pierres were big on loyalty and it was family over everything. My dad had instilled that in me, so no one could make me cross my blood. In my younger and wilder days, I’d swap freaks with my cousins and potnas. But if one of my niggas had a girl they were claiming or had feelings for then we knew what it was and those girls was off limits without it having to be said. Crossing that line was unforgivable no matter what the circumstances were. Like if one of my cousins thought they could fuck with Lo after I cut her off and claimed to be done then their mama probably would’ve been planning their funeral. So I had to acknowledge that I did not have a heart of ice to not care about being betrayed.

“Alright, Lo…I feel where you're coming from and you’re not wrong. I just don’t like the idea of you being upset over the next nigga. Specifically a nigga that then already came between us. Any type of reaction regarding some shit pertaining to him makes me question if you’re truly over him. Then with y’all history I get to thinking you might wanna hit him up about all of this.”

“Baby, I hate that you have those thoughts because they’re the furthest thing from the truth. I have no desire to talk to Kenny about any of this. The only reason he keeps coming up now is because he was sneaking around with my cousin and her friend and put babies in them. If he had gotten some other freaks pregnant I wouldn’t know or care. I don’t check for that bum ass nigga.”

“I hear you, Lo,” I replied evenly. She sounded convincing, but there was a lot of history there. Regardless of what she said, she was in a relationship with that man for a reason. She loved him enough to move in with him and put up with his bum ass for years. Feelings don't just disappear overnight even if you want them to.

“What’s on your mind, Armias?”

“Nothing, man,” I licked my lips. “You said what you said, so I can’t do nothing but accept it.”

“But you don’t completely believe me…wh-nevermind,” she shook her head. “I know why you don’t fully trust me. It’s for the same reason I didn’t fully trust you to leave Naz alone when you claimed you would.”

“Now what does she have to do with this?”

“Both of us neglected to mention important shit to each other when we got together. My baggage was definitely more severe, so I’m not comparing offenses. But my point is after learning about you and Naz’s history I didn’t think you’d really leave her alone.”

“I don’t know why that was something you had to question. Naz was never my girl.”

“So. You still fucked with her for over ten years. Some people find it hard to come up off what’s familiar and comfortable. Plus she’s the type to roll over and let you do whatever. You could hit her up right now after everything and she’d welcome you back in her life with open arms. Those types of women are hard to walk away from, so I wasn’t sure. I just took your word for it because I knew I’d see for myself over time. That’s what you have to do.”